Debt Quote Tuesday, It's Tuesday right? Is it Tuesday?

Between this being a holiday week, last week's emotional fog, and my husband being off work for eleven days straight just before that I have lost all sense of days of the week and time. The winter is just beginning right? I have moments as I watch the snow melting where I'm thinking spring is around the corner. Oy vey!

I'm in the middle of reading "Happier at Home" by Gretchen Rubin (as well as several other books). The book is interesting; she writes about goals and projects she goes about implementing in order to increase her happiness in life (and more specifically at home). I feel that it reads a bit like a very well organized blog. The book is very upbeat as she writes about this and that accomplishment and how it did or didn't affect her state of happiness.

To be honest I'd read about half way through and it was starting to feel a little too upbeat to me. I mean, I make new goals almost as a profession but am I able to complete half of them? No. Here she is marking this off and working on that project and I half started to think, "this woman is too good to be true."

A little over half way through she hits a wall so to speak and I'm like, "HA! I'm not so much a freak as I was starting to feel." Smack dab in the middle of the book she writes:

 "Around January, my emotional energy flagged. I felt trapped in a kind of Ground Hog Day of happiness. When I looked back at my Resolutions Charts from previous months, I saw rows of X's on certain pages; the same resolutions defeated me, over and over. I wasn't making much progress." 

She goes on and on like this for about five pages. This, in the middle of a pretty upbeat, go and get em book about happiness. And then the book returns to it's normal pace. This little "I'm feeling defeated" moment in the book stuck out like such a sore thumb and yet I am still feeling a sort of relief from her having put that in there.

When I was a kid I was so fascinated by Paul's rant of sorts in Romans chapter 7:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (vs. 15-25)

I used to read this over and over as a kid. I was confused at how this man who wrote a good portion of the new testament which is all, "do good, be good, turn away from evil, love the Lord," how could he all of the sudden be struggling so much? What in the world was he failing at/ not doing that he wished he were doing that would cause him to write such a passage filled with that much turmoil? I was fascinated that life could really be that hard for adults too. I mean, it was SO difficult for me in middle school and high school and I wasn't even working full time, paying bills, raising kids, running a house hold... but adults were supposed to have it all together. I mean, they had grown up. I was just utterly fascinated by this passage.

I still am really. It's like a beacon of hope. "No mam, even people who write a good portion of the new testament don't have it all together." People who write books about happiness even have to put that downer moment in the middle. Being an adult doesn't mean having it altogether.

Okay, pep talk done.

Now that the holidays are upon us I am starting to feel very overwhelmed. I want the holidays to be spectacular. Christmas only comes once a year. But I have a hard enough time feeling that I accomplished taking care of my home, my family, my kid, paying the bills, keeping everyone fed, and making it to work and back on a daily basis. Throw the holidays in there and, well, this year I'm starting to panic a little. I write all this to say, "no panic necessary! Adults don't have it all together. I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and well, I seriously need to get more organized." But really, it's okay. I'm going to try my hardest and everything will be just fine.

Happy Holidays!

What is your Normal?

Yesterday I wrote a 'kick in the pants' sort of post specifically about prioritizing ones purchases in order to follow one's dreams. In truth, I'm finally at a place in my life where my purchases are pretty well prioritized. It took a long time to get here but I am now. We hardly ever eat out any more. I hardly ever buy luxury food items. I try to buy most things on sale and cook from scratch as much as I can. I really don't buy clothes or much 'stuff' for that matter. I'm an absolute cheapskate when it comes to gift giving (this not something I'm proud of as gift giving is probably my strongest love language). We can't afford to spend $20 or even $10 on every gift we buy for every friend and family member all throughout the year... we're talking over 40 gifts for immediate family with birthdays and Christmas. I consider immediate family, mom's and dad's, brothers and sisters, and their kiddos (my nieces and nephews). Those 40+ gifts don't include all the little kid birthday parties we get invited to every year.

Anyway, I've learned to prioritize my spending. But I have been thinking since yesterday's post, "what is my normal?" There has to be something, or even a lot of somethings that I fall into the trap of doing just because that's what you do. Yesterday I wrote about a young man, out of high school who lives rent free with his folks, who has a job and yet constantly complains about not being able to afford to travel. He spends all the money he makes. Of course he can't travel if he's always spending his money but he chooses to spend all of his money. It's not lack of finances that cause him to not be able to pursue his dream of travel but rather poor choices. Only to him they don't seem like "poor choices." He's just being normal. I guess in his mind, when he complains about not being able to travel, he's really asking, "why can't I live a normal life and still be able to travel?" He doesn't see the "normal" as getting in the way of his dreams. He sees "financial lack" as getting in the way.

So what's my normal? What's your normal? I thought about it a good deal and I think I've come up with somethings that I haven't been looking at the right way because, by golly they are normal.

I chose to work part time after my kiddo was born. I'd dreamed of being a stay at home mom all my life and ten years into my marriage when we finally had a baby I could not financially afford to be a stay at home mom but we were in the place that I could work part time (and actually I was finding it down right impossible to raise my kid, take care of my home, and maintain my sanity while working 40 hours with a commute). Did that mean putting a huge halt on the debt payoff progress? Yes. Did that mean making a bunch more sacrifices financially? Yes. But working less and being home more was worth more than a million dollars to me so I chose to go part time.

But here's my normal: I work part time so I can be home with my son. That means we will always be financially strapped. You know, I've been believing that for a good long time now. It seems like we always go a bit over budget by the end of every month (meaning the outgoing is more than the incoming). I struggle and struggle and struggle to catch back up with just the everyday bills and then when it comes to debt payoff, which is still a HUGE desire in my head and heart, I can only ever pay minimums. This is normal though. All of my friends who are stay at home moms live pay check to pay check and have to sometimes feed their kids tomato sandwiches because they're out of money for food. You either work full time and can afford stuff or you stay home with your kids and have to pinch pennies to try and get them to multiply.

I don't want to be normal though. I don't think anyone has to be if they choose otherwise. So, here's what I came up with. I can still work part time, be home with my kid, but get our heads further above water and get back to paying down the debt. There's no reason I should just resign to living here, in normalville.
- If I work a little bit more then technically the budget should balance at the end of the month. If I am more efficient with my time at home there's no reason at least for now I can't work 3 or 4 more hours a week. That would not be overkill.
- If I actually sell some things around this house we'd be able to pay the debt down so much quicker AND would have more wiggle room in the budget (we have a good deal of nice antiques that we've inherited that we could part with if I can convince my husband they'd be worth more to us in cash form <- this one rests heavily on my hubby though because he's the one who inherited them all).
- If I do a few more photo shoots for people (duh) that'll be extra income and little Abe can come on photo shoots with me. I've done a good deal of them but this is a sad, lack of confidence area for me. Buck up buckeroo and use what you've been given, right.
- And I really truly feel I could always spend less. I've gotten my spending down, down, down over the past several years but I think I could get it lower AND I can try my darndest to get my husband to spend a bit less too. Little by little he's joining in this whole "fiscally responsible silliness."

The other normal is time: there's just not enough time. But that's a silly joke because, once again, I log into facebook. I scroll through the feed. I leave a comment on a status or a photo and then, oh look, 30 minutes is gone and I seriously didn't do anything. I don't even play facebook games. I don't hardly ever click on links or go snooping on people's profiles but that darn site gobbles up time like you would not believe for me. If I could just make myself log in once a day at the max then the normal "there's not enough time in the day" would get a big kick in the teeth.

Those are my most apparent pit stops in normalville. But I'm not okay with them. I really do want to get on my way, get out of normal, and live bigger. I'm not okay with being normal.

What's your normal? Do you want to break out of it?

Average daily spending for 2015: $17.03
$0 left to spend in March

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Once again, please don't hesitate to enter the GIVEAWAY, going on now, if you haven't done so already. There's some awesome free stuff for the winner.

Normal is a Hoax

A friend of mine on facebook posted a status the other day with this question:

How does one fund world travels and adventures while they're still young enough to enjoy it?

While others were leaving creative comments for him like "find jobs that pay for travel" and "work for hotels overseas... they are happy to hire people who are fluent in English," I answered simply "Don't spend money on video games, tattoos, or beer..." and I should have added "energy drinks" to that list as he drinks A LOT of them.

I know, I'm a jerk. It felt like a buzz kill answer too, but honestly I could not help myself. And ever since I left the snarky comment I can't stop thinking about the question he posed. This young man works at a hip local restaurant, I think full time, and still lives with his parents. I personally think it's financially wise to live at home if you're not married and your parents are on board with it so I'm not putting him down in that regard at all. He's been graduated from high school for a few years and is not enrolled in college. That is NOT meant to be a put down as I did not go to college and really never wanted to either. He spends a great deal of his time playing video games, just like my husband... video gaming is an enormous generational trap but hey if that's how you want to spend your time and money more power to you. He's also as of late started acquiring new tattoos and piercings. While I have zero gripe against either of those things, I don't have any tattoos for my own reasons but I went through a punker stage and I really appreciate good tattoos, to be honest even more so when someone is covered in really good ones. I also had a few piercing myself although they're in my past. However he makes comments often about how much he desires to travel, generally always accompanied by a "whoa is me, I can't afford it" twist.

I know for a fact that one can nickle and dime themselves into poverty. This fellow does not pay rent to his parents and he has a job. As far as I see it there is no reason he shouldn't be able to fund world travels and adventures in his exact situation with only a little difference. He needs to put his money where his heart is. If his deepest hearts desire is to "travel" through a television screen with a controller in his hand for hours on end then okay, spend $70 a pop here or there on the latest greatest game. If his hearts desire is to cover himself in images that express who he is, you know, wear your heart on your sleeve, as opposed to covering his innards in real life experiences that will impact who he is forever then go ahead and keep spending hundreds of dollars on tattoos. And while I understand that beer and energy drinks are fun, they are incredibly expensive. I speak from experience here, my husband loves micro brews (although he's tremendously cut back on buying them) and I used to have a SERIOUS Starbucks coffee problem.

I am absolutely not writing any of this to put this young fellow down. He and I have a lot in common precisely because of his ardent desire for adventure and travels, and his punker spirit (which yes, I still have, despite my having grown up). But I write all of this to say, "where are your priorities?" It's so easy to just go on with life. It's so easy to just hit up the Starbucks drive through again and again. It's so easy to go out with your friends and spend $15 on beer at the local pub (over and over and over...). It's so easy to get caught in the trap of normal, video games for example which are HUGE money earners for their creators. It's not so easy to cut out all of those things for a little while to fund some world travels but wait, it actually should be easy.

Let's say he spends $3 a day on energy drinks (I bet that's a low estimate) $90 in a month.

One tattoo, I think a low estimate $200 in a month

Three six packs of micro brews $45 in a month

A few coffees from a coffee shop,
lets say one a week generally around $4.95 for a mocha $20 in a month

Let's not buy three video games $220

That's $575 saved in a very short period of time. It would take two months (granted I made him purchase two tatoos and six video games in this scenario but he buys a lot of other geeky nonsense too so it's probably a VERY reasonable if not super low savings estimate) to fund a VERY nice world travels adventure. There are trips on travel websites, to Ireland for example, that cost about $600 for a package that includes airfare, a rental car, hotels, and an enormous breakfast each day for a week. (And I know these trips are legit because my mother in law took us on one several years back and it was amazing) After two months of saving $1150 by cutting out a few "normal" life expenses this young man could travel to Ireland for a week with a very decent amount of spending money in his pocket.

The question he posed irks me to no end because my husband and I spent so many years living just how he is living now. The real question is NOT, "How does one fund world travels and adventures while they're still young enough to enjoy it?" but "Why isn't one funding world travels and adventures when they're still young enough to afford it?" Why is it so difficult for the average Joe to look past the every day normal and see that if he just laid out his priorities and went after them then he could have so much more than, "oh woah is me, I can't afford it?" You can afford it! Just stop being normal. Normal doesn't win. Normal has never won. Normal is a hoax!