NO SPEND AGAIN!

Family picnic = free lunch/ dinner! And a good one at that.

I redeemed a second empty coffee bag for a free coffee this morning. On that note I noticed that I've a box of tea that's been sitting around A LONG time. Until I finish that box of tea I plan to not drink any coffee (or buy any new beans).

I ate a bagel and some cereal while anxiously awaiting the picnic. And miraculously I've pulled off two no spends in a row!!!

Oh, the mini victories feel so sweet. I've $32.58 left for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. I was not planning on today being a no spend so I am going to shoot for one more during the next three days.  

woo hoo!

NO SPEND

Happy to announce that I didn't spend one single penny yesterday. I cannot remember the last time that happened. A dear friend of mine has been reading through my blog. She's been attempting the $12 a day challenge and doing incredible at it! I on the other hand have been struggling hardcore but she inspired me to buckle down (at least for yesterday).

I'd run out of coffee BUT I had two empty Starbucks bags (which afford a free tall coffee each). I redeemed one bag yesterday morning and one today. Lucky me, there's a Starbucks about 6 blocks away. I ate cereal all day yesterday. I made my very first Quiche for dinner. I'd bought the ingredients for it on Thursday and I do love Quiche so it was a treat really and I was pretty proud of myself for FINALLY making one. So simple, so delicious, and only 5 ingredients (eggs, milk, cheese, broccoli, tomato... oh and pie crust).

Today is a new day but I am SOOOOO stoked that I managed a no spend. Hooray!

I've been backsliding pretty bad when it comes to the "acquiring new" items versus simplistic living. I really truly believe that I have beyond all that we need and buying new anything is just excessive/ wasteful. The catch is that I've brought a perfectly new little person into this world and I get to decide what he needs. Although we were VERY blessed by the baby showers it is quite easy to think he "needs" more than he actually does. This is mostly where I've been slipping.

So I can imagine some readers getting frustrated and thinking "you'd better not be thinking about depriving that little guy of yours." No, no, no he will have the world at his finger tips but I've found myself purchasing a sleeper or some other article of clothing that I was thinking he hadn't enough of BEFORE checking through bags of hand me downs and realizing that he had plenty. I bought a teething ring the other day before finding two in a bag of random items that I'd set aside because he wasn't needing them yet. I did the same thing with a bottle brush and then realized we had one.

The point I'm getting at is that I've strayed from spending wisely. I've made a habit out of not just grabbing things I "need" on a whim but rather holding off for several days before making the "needed" purchase. But this habit is slowly being broken and I cannot stand for it. I can honestly say that at least 99 out 100 times that I've put off purchasing something in order to brain storm a solution to the need I've come up with a free/ alternative plan. I need to return to that mindset and I am setting out to do just that.

I shall resume my list of "stuffs" purchases. I shall be thorough and honest. I rather lament that I got lazy and neglected it in the first place. It turns out that listing every "thing" purchase was quite invaluable to me. (the list is on the right side of this blog under 2012 stuff purchases... which is totally inaccurate since I stopped adding to it months ago. The 2011 stuff purchases list (just a bit below the other) is in fact correct).

For the record I've $32.58 remaining through Wednesday in order to balance this weeks budget. I'm on a mission! I also hope for one more NO SPEND between now and then. Shoot this was going to be a quick little blog... that didn't happen.

Putting on Rose-ish Colored Glasses

I just added up the 19 hospital/ doctors bills we received for our little mans entrance into this world.  The total (after insurance paid their share) is just over $2900. (That's not a lot of money to some people but it's A TON of money to us) I've been paying a little at a time but we just don't have that kind of dough lying around. We'd go into debt a million dollars and more for the little dude but it's still sad that we owe even more money now. AND I had a no bells and whistles delivery. We used a midwife which is cheaper than a physician and I didn't have any pain meds/ epi which saves a considerable amount. Geesh! (just to clarify I didn't refuse pain medication to save money. thats the way I wanted it. I'm just saying that would have cost even more)

Adding to the $2900 debt increase this year we just CHARGED (that's right, got out the credit card) $500 for our Boz. His teeth were getting really bad again and there was one that was really infected and causing him alot of pain. I don't know if you remember but he got several teeth pulled last year due to gum disease. Well he just got 5 more pulled. It needed to be done. He's feeling MUCH better now. His mouth is cleared of the bacteria which does affect his little heart. Truth, it had to be done. BUT I'm feeling like such a failure when it comes to the debt journey right now. I guess I'm sort of feeling like a marathon runner who just stopped half way.

BUT I haven't stopped! Here comes the Rosy part. I'm not doing good. I've had some pitfalls. My hours at work are still slow (which is REALLY hurting us financially). The debt is starting to climb up again (that terrifies me and makes me feel like a loser) BUT I have last years victories under my belt. I can keep chugging along knowing that we'd be SOOOOOOO much worse off if it weren't for the hard work I put in last year AND I can keep going. I can get out of debt, totally, for real, for good! I can do this. I've been doing this. I'm still doing this despite how it looks and feels right now. 

Looking through the rose colored glasses I can see that I haven't been perfect along this journey of mine but I'm still going, I HAVE NOT QUIT and we're going to get out of debt. It's just not a sprint : (

Life is beautiful!

Some Good Some Bad

Do you want the good news first or the bad?

Bad: My hours have been severely lacking at work lately. I'm a 40 hour employee but have only been getting about 30 hours for the past several weeks. Ok, it's great coming home early to be with my little guy and the husband BUT we need every penny we make and at present I'm having a very difficult time figuring out how to pay the bills. It's gotten to the scary point. I actually feel like I did back when I started this blog over a year and a half ago. It's not a comfy feeling. Horrible confession: I haven't looked at the bank account for about a week and I'm scared to. Yeah, yeah that's the exact opposite of how I should be handling this but old habits die hard.

Good: After seemingly endless attempts the husband got the promotion (starts training tomorrow). It has it's downfalls, like being away from home an extra 14 hours a week and needing to put even more miles on the car and spend a bunch more in gas <boooo> but it's what he's been trying for and it will mean extra income. Hooray! I am proud of him.

Life is crazy and splendid and difficult and spectacular!

Blueberries

leaf inspector 

It's been a goal of mine for the past several years to pick blueberries and stock up. I hadn't once accomplished that goal until this year. My wonderful sister in law offered to show me the ropes. I had the privilege yesterday of picking berries at $1.60 a pound with my nieces and my little guy. I LOVE blueberries. Since a rather small frozen bag of them costs $4.98 I will be saving SOOO much money from my freshly picked ones (if I don't eat them all in like 2 days). Oh, they're so good!

professional picker

I got the Snickers Instead

I'm saddened when I stop and think upon the harsh reality of the drastic contrast in lifestyles spanning our globe and our complete disconnect from this truth.

Today, all day in fact I fought with myself over the possible purchase of a Mint Chip Shake from Biggby Coffee. I've been seeing the billboards and drooling over this beverage for days. I have this unhealthy need like a fish needs water for ice cream when it's hot outside. Combined with my comfy beverage addiction those dang billboards are like advertising highly accessible drugs to an addict. I drove by three Biggby's today. One was in the parking lot where I was working. Oh let me tell you of my struggle. I "need" mint chip shake!!!

Yeah, right... There are people all over who's struggle is one of acquiring food, basic medicine, and even water. My worst struggle today was whether or not to swipe the debit card and purchase a $5 shake I currently cannot afford. Boy do I have it hard <sarcasm>. Why is it so difficult to keep things in perspective?

The thermometer read 99 degrees (37C). I fought. I struggled. I resisted. I purchased a snickers ice cream bar instead. The way I see it I spent $1.69 but I saved at least $3. AND with only 1 day left in this financial week I have not gone over budget yet.

Comments/ Responses

I'm under the impression that people do not return to certain posts to see if thee blogger has left a response to their comments... at least I can't remember what blogs I've commented on in order to go back and find a potential response. Thus I shall utilize these next few moments to respond a bit (something I do not accomplish nearly enough)

Shay: I have just as of 15 minutes ago set up an automatic savings plan. I had one once before but I felt as though I was canceling each withdraw inorder to not go into overdraft. I've set this one up for once a week and I'm telling myself that my husband spends WAY over $20 extra each week, I should be able to get that much into savings for now. Good suggestion. Thanks for the motivation.  

Outmywindow: $1000 emergency fund is definitely not enough. It's recommended that you have 3 months worth of income saved up (but not until you've paid off your unsecured debt). I've never had anything in savings. It's just weird to me to let money sit in the bank. I'm shooting for the $1000 goal even though that seems like A TON of money.

Lotebees: (I'm linking each of these responses to the blogs of the commentor... hehe this ones in Dutch) I'm honestly really encouraged by every comment I get from someone who's trying just like me to beat the debt monster, tackle the irresponsible little spender on their inside, and live life to the fullest but still struggling. This debt payoff thing isn't a happy little fairy tale. We're all trying and falling down and failing and getting back up and trying again. And heck some of us may be really responsible and full of restraint but most of us are in this mess in the first place because it's just too darn easy to spend. I like knowing that I'm not alone.

Becomingdebtfreeby2014: I'm loving all your comments on my older posts. It's causing me to go back and read through those posts again. It's really neat reading what I've written and being reminded of where I've been.

Carrie: I appreciate the long comment and kind words. My spending is definitely in reaction to perceived deprivation alot of the time. This running on empty thing is difficult but as with all else it's a phase and it shall pass (right?). I'll definitely check out that blog you linked. thanks!

I was planning on responding to a lot more comments but little man is trying to jump out of his bouncy seat. I must go.

Emergency Fund

Budget
$48 until Thursday


Probably the simplest budget you've ever seen, eh. What can I say.


I've decided that after a year and a half of rebellion I'm finally going to buckle down and attempt to tackle baby step one (Dave Ramsey FPU). As many times as I've listened to the "savings" CD I still struggle with the idea of having money in the bank that could be going towards debt. None the less I'm giving in and I'm going to try and get that $1000 in the bank. I'll come up with a due date for accomplishing this goal soon. After that I'll get back into the debt snowball game.

At present thee absolute most important thing is sticking to the budget and spending wisely. Oh, how I do love adulthood, I do, I do  : )

If you spend all the pennies you certainly aren't going to have savings or debt pay off progress <- this is me talking to myself because I need reminding about the simplest of things.

the psychology of me

Confession: I'm REALLY frustrated with myself as of late. I've lost the fire. Granted I'm kind of running on empty so there's not much fuel for a fire but it irks me so. I NEED to get out of debt but I've been ignoring it lately.

It's like this: When the house gets really messy I tend to give up and stop cleaning altogether (this makes the problem much worse). When I'm feeling, um, large I tend to eat with abandon anything and everything (this makes the problem much worse). When money is super tight I tend to revert to the old ways and just ignore all financial matters/ what we're spending/ how much we have to spend/ whats happening with the bank account (this makes the problem much worse).

The hospital bills have been added up (yikes). The three months of no income has thrown a monkey wrench into things for sure. The list of needed house repairs is slowly climbing (I guess we've lived here just long enough) and I'm acting like a crazy person, shutting down, and ignoring our financial situation.

I guess this grand adventure is considered a journey for a reason. I don't just get to say "I'm going to get out of debt" and then BE out of debt. nope. I have to travel the course. I'm not fond of this pit stop. I want to be racing along. These slow going road block areas are yucky.

If you all don't mind I think I shall attempt to use you (my devoted readers) in order to throw a little fuel upon the dwindling fire. This week with you all holding me accountable (in no other way than me imagining you reading my posts) I shall:

1.) Compile a budget
2.) Stick to the budget
3.) Blog about said budget
4.) Get a tiny bit out of debt and be financially responsible like a big girl, like a good mom

okay.

Ah, yet another list that I hope shall do me some good.

Still Here, really

Oh my gosh it's been almost ONE MONTH since I blogged. That's probably a very bad sign. Where in the world is 2012 going???

Update on baby Abe: He's AMAZING, doing great, growing like crazy! Oh man I love him!!!

Being a mom is probably thee absolute best thing EVER but I'm learning slowly, rarely catching my breath, struggling hardcore with the finances, and so super thankful that I've got the happiest baby a mom could ask for and a husband who's head over heals in love with his son (which means he loves every single minute with him, even the poopy grouchy ones).

Shout out to becomingdebtfreeby2014 who's apparently reading through my entire blog. What a task, and how very flattering. 

Marketing

Is the best of life passing you by because you haven't gotten a big screen high definition TV yet?
-television commercial

I fear my husband would answer "yes" to that question but OH MY GOODNESS! I heard the TV ask this question a few minutes ago and I felt so horribly saddened. The best of life... TV?!?! What's wrong with this picture?

 Marketing, whether it be TV commercials, bill boards, bright orange clearance stickers plants little seeds in our brains and makes us feel this manufactured void. "I NEED, NEED, NEED" because something told me so. Wowwzers we lead sad lives.

Honestly that commercial alone is making me want to throw out my TV (not to be replaced) and my computer and the husband's video games and move to a quaint cabin in the woods. Once again I tell myself/ remind myself/ combat the marketing, "I DON'T NEED ANYTHING MORE!" I already have enough.

May we all enjoy THE BEST OF LIFE today (no not your big screen TV): family, friends, beauty, fresh air, peacefulness, and love! Happy Saturday friends  : )

Debt Quote Tuesday

If you live for having it all, what you have is never enough.
-Vicki Robin

The stores are littered with orange stickers right now. I can't walk two feet without seeing new clearance items. It's as if the magical retail fairy has enchanted everything, made it "affordable" and obtainable. All of the sudden I "need" everything imaginable and only because everything imaginable is on sale. Fooy!

If I buy something that I can't afford it's NOT a good deal! I present this challenge to my struggling self: please do not buy anything that's on clearance at least for the month of June. I don't really "need" anything more than the immense blessings that already fill my life. I have enough.

Still Keeping up with the Joneses

A friend and I were talking the other day about baby stuff and work and finances came up. It's interesting how we generally do not have any clue about the financial situations of those around us. We can guess and speculate and judge but for the most part we really don't know.

My friend was mentioning that her husband and herself are quite bad with money. They make a decent income but they don't pay any attention to what's coming in and what's going out (oh how I remember those days). It's hard for me to imagine it now... not knowing how much is going where, ever, yikes! They haven't started thinking about saving or retirement. I believe she said they have some debt they need to get rid of (geesh, who doesn't). Well she also mentioned that her sister and brother in law have always been in a bad way with money as well. They're both employed full time and both make over $20 an hour BUT they're loaded with debt, never have enough money, and have struggled over money for their entire marriage. (oh, and her sister is a financial adviser of sorts) Turns our my friends mom has always been really bad with money. My mom is bad with money. Several other relatives are bad with  money. The list goes on...

I mentioned that the main problem my husband and I had is that we always looked at money with a "we work, we should be able to spend" mentality. I think ALOT of people feel this way. There really isn't an I've taken in "this much" so now I can spend "this much" cause and effect reality in how we're all spending our money. I think the US government is the perfect reflection of how MANY in our society live their lives financially. "If I want it I should be able to have it!" Swipe.

It really doesn't matter what your income is if you're constantly spending blindly you're going to end up in the hole. I hate the hole! Oh, how I'm trying to get out of the hole. I think we'd all be surprised at how many others in our lives are living in their own holes right along side of ours.

The Joneses really are broke aren't they.

Baby Steppin (or still crawling maybe)

I spent $10.34 today.

$17.81 over budget for the month so far now.

This week I hope hope hope to stick to the $12 a day budget. I hope hope hope to keep track of ALL spending EVERY day. and I hope hope hope to not lose my mind before Friday. 5 days of work, 2 days of home. It is worth it... it is worth it... it     is     worth     it. sigh.

Spending

Nine days into June and $19.47 over budget so far. Not horrible. Not great.

June 4: $8.04   (-6.81)

5: $5.59   (-.41)

6: $4.23   (+7.36)

7: $6.12   (+13.24)

8: $16.74   (+8.50)

9: $39.97   (-19.47)

I'd be a bit more on track if I'd paid closer attention to spending over the past few days. But alas I strayed into the old evil ways and just swiped away. KEEP TRACK OF SPENDING! SPEND CASH! Why is it so difficult to just stick to the plan?

I'm not to good at this whole adult thing. Wait, at least I'm better at it than our government. ah ha.

Roses

Today I stopped to smell the roses...

in the cooler at the supermarket.

I'm beyond in love with my baby boy but I feel like I've been moving a million miles an hour. Today I was feeling that I'm too busy to be a good mom even. I'm gone for around 10 hours a day for work (long commute) and when I get home I'm drained AND I have tons of stuff to do just to prep for the next day. It's madness. Saturday's and Sunday's at home with my boy are priceless but the rest of the week... blah.

I'm not complaining so much as prefacing that I struggle more with spending/ not spending money (especially on food) when I'm emotionally and physically run down like this. I know that it will only get better. I also know that I won't be working full time forever (I'm shooting for under two years) but at present, AHHH!

Anyway, I was walking past the flower cooler at work today and I thought to myself, "I haven't a clue when I last smelled a rose." I stopped for a moment and felt a bit foolish at my thought process. Who picks up roses at the store to simply smell and not even purchase? Me of course. I grabbed a gorgeous peach bunch of a dozen roses and inhaled deeply. They were lovely! I genuinely don't remember when I last smelled a rose. I know that I love the fragrance but it was so much more lovely than I even remember.

I guess I say all this because it was today's lovely moment for me and you don't need to spend money to reward yourself/ cheer up a bit/ embrace those moments of relief in the chaos.

Life is truly splendid!

Pizza

Spent almost double my budget yesterday, $23.39. I was almost just going to include $19.80 of that in my husbands spending for the week since he bought pizza for dinner last night. But that'd seriously be cheating since it was dinner for both of us. So I'm sucking it up and counting that darn (delicious) pizza in the $12 a day budget.

For the month of June I'm $10.77 over budget so far.

Oh, how I do love food... sigh.

Back to Basics

I kinda feel like I'm back at square one after the past 4 months of drastic life changes. So I'm going to try and start back at the beginning.

The Plan: Spend an average of $12 a day on food, household supplies, and gifts.


The Goal: Freedom!

On June 1st I spent $15.24 ($3.24 over budget). Yesterday I spent $8.14 which caught me back up with a 62 cent cushion. BUT the $8.14 was spent on ice cream. Let me tell you it was super delicious (two flurries). Mine was a drumstick flurry which is one of the best ice cream creations I've ever had. Needless to say we don't need flurries (ok, maybe I do... oh the battle). Not that it matters but I live in a beach town. We have an ice cream place every few blocks and like my coffee addiction I have a horrible ice cream problem. Just being honest.

Anyhow, I'm caught up with the $12 a day budget for June.

During this debt freedom endevour the three main things I've learned that are absolutely essential for me to stay on track with the budget are:

1. Spend Cash. I hate it but it really does keep you aware of your spending and helps limit the excess.
2. Balance the checkbook/ keep track of spending DAILY. Whenever I stray from this little task I STRAY.
3. Blog. Just the simple act of jotting down my spending and battles on the web helps so much to hold me accountable and keep me on track. You all, EVERY reader of this regular ranting have helped my family with the debt pay off we've managed thus far.

MANY THANKS TO YOU FRIENDS!

Things I Need Today

Hugs from the husband
Baby boy smiles
Puppy cuddles
To gaze upon the sky
Listen to bird songs
And inhale fresh outside air

Probably need water too

Nothing more.

My Monster is Back

I've been fighting, really REALLY fighting urges to buy everything lately. I'm so mad that this little monster is back. Over the past two years I've done so good at caging the little beast. I actually thought it was gone. Nope.

Ever since I've been back to work (four weeks already) I've been fighting the consumer mentality. "Ooh, that outfit for baby boy would be soooo cute!.. ahh, we really need a new one of those (bed sheets, socks, pants, shoes, baby swaddler, additional random nonsense that we in NO WAY actually need)... goodness, that sale is so great I really should pick one of those up!" Seriously the monster is back!

As Dave Ramsey says, getting a good deal on something you don't actually need is in no way a good deal. I've learned that I really don't need much of anything (else). We've too much already and yet little monster is back yelling her ugly head off, "BUY IT!" For the most part I haven't been listening but it tears me down so much. I leave work (a supermarket) everyday with a long lovely list compiled over the past 8 hours of random items that I really feel we need/ could benefit from/ I'd love to purchase and bring home to meet my family. There's such a feeling of void while this list floats around in my head but my hands are empty. Again, I've been doing pretty good just leaving the list in the confines of my mind and not realizing it but the battle is agonizing.

I've noticed that even though I have been winning the initial battle the little monster is leaving me wiped out for my journey home. We've been eating takeout ALOT and spending a ridiculous amount of money on food stuffs. I think that I feel this small sense of accomplishment for not acquiring the items on the previously mentioned list, and yet I want to fill the void with something still and food is great for this. SO I don't spend money on stuff but then I sort of mend the wound and reward the accomplishment by spending money on calories. OH, THE BATTLE RAGES ON!

I'm weak. I'm tired. I'm finding myself rather regressed but I'm still determined to ditch this debt and come out on the other side a financially strong responsible woman and mommy!