It's totally okay for life to suck

I've lost all my marble folks. They're gone.

I'm pretty sure my son is devising an escape plan. He's been homeschooled since day one but even so he is beyond stir crazy. He needs friends and he needs his grandma.

I'm pretty sure my husband is ready to move into his own apartment, or a cave somewhere, anywhere with peace and quiet and solitude. He needs to leave BUT THERE IS NO WHERE TO GO!

Our Party pup is feeling the tension in the air. He seemed house broke shortly after he joined the family but he's been having anxiety issues and peeing indoors issues despite how often we let him out. We're not only driving each other crazy we're bugging the dog!

My sweet little Wren who'll be two in June has turned into quite the little comedian. She's come up with a dramatic silly run and a silly jump. She has an entire arsenal of silly faces possibly to cheer up her overwhelmed family.

My husband and I have both been working through this entire ordeal. Working at a supermarket we've had to endure the panic, the fear, daily wellness checks, the mad rush on toilet paper, and meat, and canned goods, and milk, etc; every day since this thing began. It's not real; at least it still doesn't seem real. The newly instated mandatory masks are suffocating. Tiny panic attacks induced after having a difficult time catching ones breath, tears randomly breaking forth simply because it's next to impossible to process the reality of having six more hours to wear the mask; this is the new normal?  Not being able to truly smile at anyone, greeting strangers with a muffled hello is mentally defeating.

I write all of this not just to vent (I totally need to vent) but to remind myself that it's totally okay for life to completely suck at times. That's life. The really awful low points help elevate the wonderful times, right? This summer when heat returns to the great outdoors, when the world is alive with flourishing vegetation, when my children are running around in swim suits playing with the hose, I can delight in the wonderfulness of those moments and remember how awful early spring was and feel all the more thankful for life.

Maybe right now it's hard to find good. I honestly cannot think of one single good thing about today. I can't think of one single good thing about yesterday. Not one! Seriously. Life has been heavy, depressing, dark and gloomy. I have definintely got my full Eeyore on right now.

“Good morning, Eeyore,” said Pooh.
“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it IS a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he.
“Why, what’s the matter?”
“Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can’t all, and some of us don’t. That’s all there is to it.”
“Can’t all WHAT?” said Pooh, rubbing his nose.
“Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush. ...I’m not complaining, but There It Is.”

But today is just a collection of yucky moments, heavy moments, today, yesterday, the day before that and probably a whole lot of tomorrows, just moments. Good beautiful times will be again, and this seemingly endless dark black storm cloud will blow over, and the sun will shine brighter than any of us remember it having shone before. It will be okay.