Since I'm hoping to include more laughter than usual in this month's repertoire Little Abe and I checked out some funny children's books from the library. One that was recommended by our favorite librarian* is called "The Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog." It's written by Mo Willems and my son thinks it's hilarious.
The Pigeon as featured in several of Mo Willems' books finds a hot dog and is about to enjoy it when a little duckling comes along and asks what a hot dog tastes like. The Pigeon then faces the struggle of whether or not to give the hot dog to the little duckling who has never tasted one. The pigeon is very loud, expressive and does not want to share. The funniest part though is the really silly voice that I always use for the duckling. When the duckling says it's simple one liners like, "So, it doesn't taste like chicken, then?" little Abe can't help but laugh and laugh and repeat the little bird in the same silly voice.
Upon first read I'm not sure how funny either of us found the book. My son had a big smile on his face throughout but I don't remember if we laughed. We've since read it many times. The characters are growing on us. The silly duckling voice gets more amusing with each read and the Pigeon gets, dare I say more frustrated about the hot dog dilemma each time its revisited. When all is said and done the pigeon splits the hot dog in half and shares with the small duckling and the book ends with the duckling saying, "Hmmm... needs mustard."
Already this month I've learned a few things, I've learned that something that isn't so funny at first can certainly become so with a little bonding and I've learned that stubborn pigeons and tiny ducklings can be hilarious (especially when funny voices are involved).
Spending today:
m&ms and water at work $1.87
Light bulbs $4.28
2017 Average daily spending: $26.48
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*Our favorite librarian doesn't know that she's our favorite librarian and just this moment I realized we should make her a card, or little Abe can draw her a picture with a note thanking her for her unique kindness and wonderful helpfulness.
Showing posts with label Books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Books. Show all posts
Monday, January 2, 2017
Friday, November 18, 2016
One Hundred and Fifty Six Books
Over the past year and a half little Abe and I kept track of all the books we read together in a book log from our local library. The log was supplied through a program called "1000 Books Before Kindergarten." I love reading to him (even though it takes carving out time to do). He loves books, discovering new books, and re-reading over, and over, and over all of his favorites. The book log was a fun exercise for many reasons but I really believe that keeping track of the books we read encouraged us to read more often.
I picked up a little journal from the dollar store after the "1000 books" log was filled. So I'm still recording all the books we read together. Some days we read upwards of ten. Some days we only read one story, a book before bed. I record each chapter we read from any chapter book as a single book since reading a single chapter takes considerably longer than reading a child's picture book.
On days that we've read only one or two books I always feel like such a slacker. Somewhere in the back of my mind I feel like we should be reading books all day long. I'm not sure how my mind sees that as a possibility since I do work, have to take care of our home, make meals, schedule play times for little Abe with friends, make sure he gets outside to play, let him watch television while he plays with toys, ect; Yeah, unrealistic mind of mine reading books all day long makes perfect sense!
While that little voice in the back of my mind is telling me that I've dropped the ball and we aren't reading nearly as much as we should our book log tells me that we've read 156 books in the past month. That averages out to almost 2000 books (or chapters read) in a year. Okay, so here's what I have to say to the unrealistic voice in my head saying "we need to be reading all the time," little voice, "We are rocking it. 156 books read in a month is better than 100, or 50, or 10, and I'll take it! I'll take it and I'm proud of it."
This past year, while I've dropped the ball in recording the daily spending, and I haven't been reading books to my kid every minute of every day, and I don't take the dog's for a walk every day as I'd like to... yeah, I could go on and on... I've also grown a lot in that I've started talking back to that voice of failure. My best, even if my best is far from perfection, my best is enough. I think I've been trying to tell myself this for a very long time but the failure voice has always been louder. This year I've really started to believe that I'm doing good enough. I am not perfect. I can't do it all. There will always be huge short comings but I keep striving, I keep trying harder, I keep setting goals I can't actually reach AND my best is enough. 156 books was last month's best and I think we rocked it.
I picked up a little journal from the dollar store after the "1000 books" log was filled. So I'm still recording all the books we read together. Some days we read upwards of ten. Some days we only read one story, a book before bed. I record each chapter we read from any chapter book as a single book since reading a single chapter takes considerably longer than reading a child's picture book.
On days that we've read only one or two books I always feel like such a slacker. Somewhere in the back of my mind I feel like we should be reading books all day long. I'm not sure how my mind sees that as a possibility since I do work, have to take care of our home, make meals, schedule play times for little Abe with friends, make sure he gets outside to play, let him watch television while he plays with toys, ect; Yeah, unrealistic mind of mine reading books all day long makes perfect sense!
While that little voice in the back of my mind is telling me that I've dropped the ball and we aren't reading nearly as much as we should our book log tells me that we've read 156 books in the past month. That averages out to almost 2000 books (or chapters read) in a year. Okay, so here's what I have to say to the unrealistic voice in my head saying "we need to be reading all the time," little voice, "We are rocking it. 156 books read in a month is better than 100, or 50, or 10, and I'll take it! I'll take it and I'm proud of it."
This past year, while I've dropped the ball in recording the daily spending, and I haven't been reading books to my kid every minute of every day, and I don't take the dog's for a walk every day as I'd like to... yeah, I could go on and on... I've also grown a lot in that I've started talking back to that voice of failure. My best, even if my best is far from perfection, my best is enough. I think I've been trying to tell myself this for a very long time but the failure voice has always been louder. This year I've really started to believe that I'm doing good enough. I am not perfect. I can't do it all. There will always be huge short comings but I keep striving, I keep trying harder, I keep setting goals I can't actually reach AND my best is enough. 156 books was last month's best and I think we rocked it.
Monday, August 29, 2016
Peter Rabbit
I'm purposefully on a mission as of late to check out classic children's books from our library to share with little Abe. They are especially fun since many of them I've either never read myself or haven't read since I was young.
Today we came home from the library with a wonderful stack of books. His favorite song right now (apart from the Star Wars theme song that he hums non-stop) is the Ittsy bittsy spider. We brought home a book today that taught us both an additional, I think it is, six more verses. What a delight!
We also brought home the VERY classic Peter Rabbit. This is a story I haven't read in decades but remember vividly. It's rather official that I think he has received it the same as I did. The copy is so small. I held it in my hands as he sat on my lap and he leaned over it the entire time I read to look at the illustrations more closely. He was in such suspense about what would happen to the little naughty rabbit that he just kept asking me question after question. He'd hardly let me go on. His attention was peaked, completely drawn in and hooked. He just needed to know if the rabbit would escape or if the farmer would kill him.
Since I've recently taken up gardening, only three years in now, and little Abe is my garden helper, and might I add our yard is over run with rabbits the story was really very relate-able for a little boy who certainly finds a bit of a thrill in trying to work around not doing certain things his mother has asked of him and a little boy who has a backyard garden of his own. I can't do this post justice in explaining what sheer joy came for both of us sharing in that story together tonight but I thought I'd attempt to make a note of it anyhow.
Ah, the little things!
Today we came home from the library with a wonderful stack of books. His favorite song right now (apart from the Star Wars theme song that he hums non-stop) is the Ittsy bittsy spider. We brought home a book today that taught us both an additional, I think it is, six more verses. What a delight!
We also brought home the VERY classic Peter Rabbit. This is a story I haven't read in decades but remember vividly. It's rather official that I think he has received it the same as I did. The copy is so small. I held it in my hands as he sat on my lap and he leaned over it the entire time I read to look at the illustrations more closely. He was in such suspense about what would happen to the little naughty rabbit that he just kept asking me question after question. He'd hardly let me go on. His attention was peaked, completely drawn in and hooked. He just needed to know if the rabbit would escape or if the farmer would kill him.
Since I've recently taken up gardening, only three years in now, and little Abe is my garden helper, and might I add our yard is over run with rabbits the story was really very relate-able for a little boy who certainly finds a bit of a thrill in trying to work around not doing certain things his mother has asked of him and a little boy who has a backyard garden of his own. I can't do this post justice in explaining what sheer joy came for both of us sharing in that story together tonight but I thought I'd attempt to make a note of it anyhow.
Ah, the little things!
Thursday, March 10, 2016
It's that time again
I am very proud of my Irish heritage. I can't get enough of Irish history. Ireland and Guatemala are tied for my favorite places on earth. I love the story of St. Patrick so much.
Every year for at least five years I've read St. Patrick of Ireland by Philip Freeman. It's a quick read and so far it hasn't gotten old. Reading this book every March brings me such joy. It's a really fun tradition I have. I spend the entire time imagining my ancestors living on the Island at that very time. I wonder where they were, what they looked like, what were there stories?
I admire Patrick for continually following what he knew to be a call from the Lord. And what sacrifices he made for the call. We're one week out from St. Patrick's day thus it's time for me to pull the book off the shelf and start again! This is my life.
Average daily spending for 2016: $18.81
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
Debt Quote Tuesday, No Regrets
Like all emotion, regret can be used constructively and destructively, but the wholesale dismissal of regret is wrongheaded and dangerous. "No regrets" doesn't mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life.
-Brene Brown, from Rising Strong
Are there any statements in your life that somehow solidified a place in your mind, like each of these simple statements have their very own shelf where they sit on display inside of your head?
My first ever moment of body shaming, that I can recall, that meant anything to me at all was when I was sitting in the front seat of my parent's car. I must have been wearing shorts or a skirt and my dad was sitting in the drivers seat when he said to me, "woah, your legs are hairy!" He may have said something like, "gross," or "you should shave." I could not have been older then ten. I've had very dark hair for most of my life but still I know that it was little girl peach fuzz type hair that I had on my legs at the time. There was NOTHING about the hair on my legs that I should have been embarrassed or ashamed of but I was mortified in that moment.
My dad is definitely an antagonist and I'm certain he must have made the comment in a mean joking way but that one comment has shaped my life. Actually, I hate to admit it but as long as I can remember I have been ashamed of my legs. There have been years worth of time when I've gone without wearing shorts or skirts shorter then ankle length and I wonder if that one comment that has stuck with me for so long has anything to do with it. It's not the comment itself that hurts but the intense feeling of shame and ugliness that overcame me when he said it.
There are things my mom has said to that always come back in certain moments. Not necessarily negative things just random little statements. The funny thing about some of my mom's comments, certain ones that have their very own shelf in my mind, I've repeated a few to her in the past several years and she's actually said, "I never said that." Then this absolute truth, truth enough to be solidified on it's very own shelf in my brain is suddenly null and void? Gee mom, thanks for randomly telling your young daughter something so important that you never actually meant!
A friend of mine once told me that he, "never regrets anything!" He's a pastor of a church now and while we're not close friends and I don't remember why he was so adamantly not regretting anything there was shame in his statement. Every single time I find myself feeling regretful I think of him having said that and I feel bad, like I need to do away with my moment of regret. For some reason his No Regrets comment has had a very prominent place on display in my mind for a long time.
Having just read the above quote I am filled with delight. I have tried for close to fifteen years to "have no regrets," but I completely agree with Brene Brown. Do you know that after losing our cat a little while back I started to feel regrets. I think regret is an emotion felt by almost every single person after a death. It's completely normal. But as I was feeling this horrible loss and thinking, "I wish I would have snuggled her more. I wish I would have spent more time with her. I wish I would have responded every single time she meowed," (she really only meowed when she was talking to one of us about something) I just tried to bury the regret, ignore it, push it away. I kept thinking that I needed to use that regret constructively to spend more time with my puppies or be a little more attentive to little Abe but then I was scared of the regret and felt shamed thinking, "oh she's gone now, I can't give her what I should have, how dare I feel that I should use this horrible feeling to love my dogs and son more." No, I should use it to do just that. "To live without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life."
Same exact thing goes for the financial situation we are in. I regret having used credit cards like toys before my husband and I were together and then with our "excellent" credit both of us having used credit cards like we were living some sort of monopoly game for several years when we were first married. I totally regret that. But I do not let that regret shame me. It is fuel. It is motivation. It is absolutely constructive in helping me to say "no!" to non-necessities and try my darnedest to follow the strict budgets I draw up.
No regrets? Nope, I have regrets and I am using them to fuel gorgeous blazing fires!
If I say, "My foot slips," Your mercy, O LORD, will hold me up. In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul.
Psalm 94:18-19
Sunday, November 29, 2015
Forty Five Minutes of Christmas, Permission Slip
I recently checked out a new book from the library that an incredibly dear friend [Pieliekamais] recommended. The book is Rising Strong by Brene Brown and I'm LOVING it! Apart from feeling like I've just undergone a several hour long therapy session, the author presents incredibly useful ways to confront, embrace, and work through emotions that we've buried or ignored or have been denying but none the less emotions that are deep rooted and that control the way we interact with people and go throughout our lives.
This book has been VERY eye opening for me and I'd recommend it to anyone for that reason. Mostly through writing my eyes have been opened, over the past few years, to really deep hurts that are ever present in my life. I've slowly been praying through these hurts and keeping a look out for them but I have been without the tools to really confront many of them or haven't known exactly how to work through some of them. This book is helping identify ways to confront many of my yet healed wounds so that I can begin to heal and grow from them instead of just noticing that they are there without knowing how to really address them.
All that said (because I'm really enjoying this book) one small thing that the author touched on was setting too high of expectations. Disappointment comes from having too high of expectations. I am a perfectionist. Perfection is unattainable. So this is an oximoron of sorts, I'm a perfectionist, striving for perfection while knowing that perfection is unattainable. Seems like something needs to change, right? I mean, essentially I am always setting myself up for failure.
December is an incredibly stressful month for me. I love the Christmas season but I want to make it perfect! Ah ha, but I can't make it perfect. So I'm going to slowly drive myself insane all month long and end the Christmas season with that all too familiar feeling of having fallen short? What a great way to enjoy the holiday's right! I'm not completely sure how to fully escape this dilemma (which I've written about here before, so this is nothing new to many of you) but I am going to write myself a permission slip right now. I'm not sure this is exactly what the author of Rising Strong meant when she talked about writing emotional permission slips but it deals with my emotional issues so my permission slip states: I will spend 45 minutes a day on Christmas. Anything that doesn't get accomplished in the 45 minutes doesn't need to be done. Whatever gets accomplished during the 45 minutes of Christmas is perfection.
Baking, decorating, Christmas crafts, Christmas cards, presents that I'm still planning to make, the Christmas cookie get together at our house that I really want to host, all the parties that we'll be attending, shopping (I think we've very little shopping left), Christmas books and scripture reading that I have planned each day for my kiddo, the holiday parade... I'll likely spend more than 45 minutes a day on certain days, like party days or parade days, but 45 minutes a day is all I need to get in. (I hope that doesn't sound like a lot... that doesn't sound like a lot to me) That's really only about 18 hours from here on out and I probably spent close to that just on Christmas cards last year.
Merry Christmas!
This book has been VERY eye opening for me and I'd recommend it to anyone for that reason. Mostly through writing my eyes have been opened, over the past few years, to really deep hurts that are ever present in my life. I've slowly been praying through these hurts and keeping a look out for them but I have been without the tools to really confront many of them or haven't known exactly how to work through some of them. This book is helping identify ways to confront many of my yet healed wounds so that I can begin to heal and grow from them instead of just noticing that they are there without knowing how to really address them.
All that said (because I'm really enjoying this book) one small thing that the author touched on was setting too high of expectations. Disappointment comes from having too high of expectations. I am a perfectionist. Perfection is unattainable. So this is an oximoron of sorts, I'm a perfectionist, striving for perfection while knowing that perfection is unattainable. Seems like something needs to change, right? I mean, essentially I am always setting myself up for failure.
December is an incredibly stressful month for me. I love the Christmas season but I want to make it perfect! Ah ha, but I can't make it perfect. So I'm going to slowly drive myself insane all month long and end the Christmas season with that all too familiar feeling of having fallen short? What a great way to enjoy the holiday's right! I'm not completely sure how to fully escape this dilemma (which I've written about here before, so this is nothing new to many of you) but I am going to write myself a permission slip right now. I'm not sure this is exactly what the author of Rising Strong meant when she talked about writing emotional permission slips but it deals with my emotional issues so my permission slip states: I will spend 45 minutes a day on Christmas. Anything that doesn't get accomplished in the 45 minutes doesn't need to be done. Whatever gets accomplished during the 45 minutes of Christmas is perfection.
Baking, decorating, Christmas crafts, Christmas cards, presents that I'm still planning to make, the Christmas cookie get together at our house that I really want to host, all the parties that we'll be attending, shopping (I think we've very little shopping left), Christmas books and scripture reading that I have planned each day for my kiddo, the holiday parade... I'll likely spend more than 45 minutes a day on certain days, like party days or parade days, but 45 minutes a day is all I need to get in. (I hope that doesn't sound like a lot... that doesn't sound like a lot to me) That's really only about 18 hours from here on out and I probably spent close to that just on Christmas cards last year.
Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Debt Quote Tuesday, It's Tuesday right? Is it Tuesday?
Between this being a holiday week, last week's emotional fog, and my husband being off work for eleven days straight just before that I have lost all sense of days of the week and time. The winter is just beginning right? I have moments as I watch the snow melting where I'm thinking spring is around the corner. Oy vey!
I'm in the middle of reading "Happier at Home" by Gretchen Rubin (as well as several other books). The book is interesting; she writes about goals and projects she goes about implementing in order to increase her happiness in life (and more specifically at home). I feel that it reads a bit like a very well organized blog. The book is very upbeat as she writes about this and that accomplishment and how it did or didn't affect her state of happiness.
To be honest I'd read about half way through and it was starting to feel a little too upbeat to me. I mean, I make new goals almost as a profession but am I able to complete half of them? No. Here she is marking this off and working on that project and I half started to think, "this woman is too good to be true."
A little over half way through she hits a wall so to speak and I'm like, "HA! I'm not so much a freak as I was starting to feel." Smack dab in the middle of the book she writes:
When I was a kid I was so fascinated by Paul's rant of sorts in Romans chapter 7:
I used to read this over and over as a kid. I was confused at how this man who wrote a good portion of the new testament which is all, "do good, be good, turn away from evil, love the Lord," how could he all of the sudden be struggling so much? What in the world was he failing at/ not doing that he wished he were doing that would cause him to write such a passage filled with that much turmoil? I was fascinated that life could really be that hard for adults too. I mean, it was SO difficult for me in middle school and high school and I wasn't even working full time, paying bills, raising kids, running a house hold... but adults were supposed to have it all together. I mean, they had grown up. I was just utterly fascinated by this passage.
I still am really. It's like a beacon of hope. "No mam, even people who write a good portion of the new testament don't have it all together." People who write books about happiness even have to put that downer moment in the middle. Being an adult doesn't mean having it altogether.
Okay, pep talk done.
Now that the holidays are upon us I am starting to feel very overwhelmed. I want the holidays to be spectacular. Christmas only comes once a year. But I have a hard enough time feeling that I accomplished taking care of my home, my family, my kid, paying the bills, keeping everyone fed, and making it to work and back on a daily basis. Throw the holidays in there and, well, this year I'm starting to panic a little. I write all this to say, "no panic necessary! Adults don't have it all together. I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and well, I seriously need to get more organized." But really, it's okay. I'm going to try my hardest and everything will be just fine.
Happy Holidays!
I'm in the middle of reading "Happier at Home" by Gretchen Rubin (as well as several other books). The book is interesting; she writes about goals and projects she goes about implementing in order to increase her happiness in life (and more specifically at home). I feel that it reads a bit like a very well organized blog. The book is very upbeat as she writes about this and that accomplishment and how it did or didn't affect her state of happiness.
To be honest I'd read about half way through and it was starting to feel a little too upbeat to me. I mean, I make new goals almost as a profession but am I able to complete half of them? No. Here she is marking this off and working on that project and I half started to think, "this woman is too good to be true."
A little over half way through she hits a wall so to speak and I'm like, "HA! I'm not so much a freak as I was starting to feel." Smack dab in the middle of the book she writes:
"Around January, my emotional energy flagged. I felt trapped in a kind of Ground Hog Day of happiness. When I looked back at my Resolutions Charts from previous months, I saw rows of X's on certain pages; the same resolutions defeated me, over and over. I wasn't making much progress."She goes on and on like this for about five pages. This, in the middle of a pretty upbeat, go and get em book about happiness. And then the book returns to it's normal pace. This little "I'm feeling defeated" moment in the book stuck out like such a sore thumb and yet I am still feeling a sort of relief from her having put that in there.
When I was a kid I was so fascinated by Paul's rant of sorts in Romans chapter 7:
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (vs. 15-25)
I used to read this over and over as a kid. I was confused at how this man who wrote a good portion of the new testament which is all, "do good, be good, turn away from evil, love the Lord," how could he all of the sudden be struggling so much? What in the world was he failing at/ not doing that he wished he were doing that would cause him to write such a passage filled with that much turmoil? I was fascinated that life could really be that hard for adults too. I mean, it was SO difficult for me in middle school and high school and I wasn't even working full time, paying bills, raising kids, running a house hold... but adults were supposed to have it all together. I mean, they had grown up. I was just utterly fascinated by this passage.
I still am really. It's like a beacon of hope. "No mam, even people who write a good portion of the new testament don't have it all together." People who write books about happiness even have to put that downer moment in the middle. Being an adult doesn't mean having it altogether.
Okay, pep talk done.
Now that the holidays are upon us I am starting to feel very overwhelmed. I want the holidays to be spectacular. Christmas only comes once a year. But I have a hard enough time feeling that I accomplished taking care of my home, my family, my kid, paying the bills, keeping everyone fed, and making it to work and back on a daily basis. Throw the holidays in there and, well, this year I'm starting to panic a little. I write all this to say, "no panic necessary! Adults don't have it all together. I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other and well, I seriously need to get more organized." But really, it's okay. I'm going to try my hardest and everything will be just fine.
Happy Holidays!
Monday, November 2, 2015
Four Questions
Have you ever noticed those people whom you see jogging day after day? They are the ones who seem not to need to jog. But that's why they are fit. Those who are wealthy work at staying financially fit. But those who are not financially fit do little to change their status.
- Excerpt from The Millionaire Next Door
Chapter two of The Millionaire Next Door outlines four basic questions that all Prodigious Accumulators of Wealth Millionaires can answer yes to. (The only exception being older/ retired Millionaires on question #3 because many of them have actually reached the majority of their long term goals).
Under Accumulator of Wealth Millionaires on the other hand may have inherited their wealth or earned it through very high paying salaries (and spend as quickly as they earn), i.e. movie stars/ athletes and while they are in fact millionaires they have considerably less net worth then they should have and will not generally answer yes the the following four questions.
- Does your Household operate on an annual budget?
- Do you know how much your family spends each year for food clothing and shelter?
- Do you have a clearly defined set of daily, weekly, monthly, annual, and lifetime goals?
- Do you spend a lot of time planning your financial future?
I've been reading through this book very slowly. It's a very fascinating book that I'm glad to finally be reading but there are a lot of number examples and charts which makes it more difficult for me to concentrate on reading through it for a very long time. It's been a VERY up and down read emotionally. One moment I'm thinking "Yes! I'm really doing this money thing so much better than I'd thought." Then a few pages later I'm like, "oh, no I'm doomed."
There was a long description about how the majority of first generation millionaires in America are actually immigrants. Specifically Russians who come here do really well in accumulating wealth. On the other side of the spectrum it noted statistics that say the longer your ancestors have been here the more likely you are to live a very average life/ not ever accumulate wealth.
I think the lesson to be learned from these statistics is that people get lazy. People who travel here from overseas with virtually nothing to their name and very little money in their pockets are more likely to live a super frugal life, take extraordinary risks, and attain an overly ambitious goal through hard, hard, grueling years of work. Whereas people who grew up here are much less likely to step out of comfortable living to do what it takes. Uh oh, a great deal of my ancestors have been here since the pilgrims (but Sluggy is doing pretty good and a good lot of her ancestors have been here for centuries as well so I still have hope. Thank-you Sluggy).
Back to the questions. This was one of the portions of the book that made me really hopeful. Since starting this blog I can pretty easily answer yes to all four of these questions. The only one I really struggle with is number 3. I make a lot of goals but I get overwhelmed and distracted and lose focus really quickly. "What, did she just say she's scatter brained?" Yeah, anyone who's read this blog for any period of time knows this full well. Do I have a clearly defined set of goals? Yes. Do they change by the hour. Pretty much. I do need to work on that. Number 1, 2, and 4 on the other hand are resounding yeses and I'm really proud of that because it took years of very hard work and focus (not a strong point) for the answers to be yeses.
Yes!
Friday, October 16, 2015
Well, I gave it a go: Part Two
I mentioned the other day that I needed to buy some new pants for little Abe and that I was going to give the thrift store another try. Shopping the thrift store for clothing is another tip in the book Money Secret of the Amish. Yes, they do make their own clothing and have a very strict dress code but the Amish are frequenters of thrift stores, garage sales, consignment shops. They will buy used clothing and alter the items to suit their needs or use the fabric for much less than it'd cost to buy new fabric.
Inspired by the book, I stopped in a consignment shop on my way home from work Wednesday. The store was HUGE and so well laid out and wonderfully organized. I kind of loved it (and I do NOT like thrift store shopping). A lot of the pieces cost more then something one might find at a thrift store but there were some really cheap finds too. And I'm starting to wonder what has happened to me. They had a sale where any items with brown or yellow tags were 20% off. I was trying really hard to find things that I liked with those brown or yellow tags. I mean really, I'm in a consignment shop looking through marked down used clothing AND trying to save 20%. I have a problem, right?
My goal was to not spend more than $5 on any one time for the kiddo. That was the goal. I wanted to get him pants, PJ's and a nice sweatshirt. This place was HUGE but for some reason all the 3T/4T racks were covered in 3T clothing. I had a VERY difficult time finding any 4T clothes let alone ones that met my criteria. There were only three PJ's and I did not like them. I couldn't find a nice sweatshirt in the right size that didn't cost a bundle. So here's what I came away with:
The grey colored blue jeans with all the original tags still on were $6.34. Yes I went over my $5 goal with this one but they were brand new and had a yellow tag (so I saved and extra 20%).
The grey pants with the stripes were $4 something.
The black pants were $1.92.
The sweater was over $5 too. I think it was $7.92 but I really liked it so I got it. I can see little Abe getting a lot of use out of it.
I spent $20.18 on these four items. That sounds like a lot of money to me but I think I did pretty good. I looked at new clothes at the store before going to the consignment shop. The cheapest, cheap pants were $4.98 so I definitely saved money on the black and grey pants. The grew pants with the white and orange stripes down the leg are very sturdy, very thick, in great condition and are WAY nicer than the brand new pants in the store that I saw for $4.98. The cheapest blue jeans I saw brand new at the store were $10 so I saved money on the brand new grey $6.34 pants too (plus the store tag that was on them said $19.50).
I justified the two "over $5" purchases because of the $1.92 pants. I hate shopping but now he has more pants that fit and a nice sweater. I'll call the "thrift" store shopping trip a win.
Inspired by the book, I stopped in a consignment shop on my way home from work Wednesday. The store was HUGE and so well laid out and wonderfully organized. I kind of loved it (and I do NOT like thrift store shopping). A lot of the pieces cost more then something one might find at a thrift store but there were some really cheap finds too. And I'm starting to wonder what has happened to me. They had a sale where any items with brown or yellow tags were 20% off. I was trying really hard to find things that I liked with those brown or yellow tags. I mean really, I'm in a consignment shop looking through marked down used clothing AND trying to save 20%. I have a problem, right?
My goal was to not spend more than $5 on any one time for the kiddo. That was the goal. I wanted to get him pants, PJ's and a nice sweatshirt. This place was HUGE but for some reason all the 3T/4T racks were covered in 3T clothing. I had a VERY difficult time finding any 4T clothes let alone ones that met my criteria. There were only three PJ's and I did not like them. I couldn't find a nice sweatshirt in the right size that didn't cost a bundle. So here's what I came away with:
The grey colored blue jeans with all the original tags still on were $6.34. Yes I went over my $5 goal with this one but they were brand new and had a yellow tag (so I saved and extra 20%).
The grey pants with the stripes were $4 something.
The black pants were $1.92.
The sweater was over $5 too. I think it was $7.92 but I really liked it so I got it. I can see little Abe getting a lot of use out of it.
I spent $20.18 on these four items. That sounds like a lot of money to me but I think I did pretty good. I looked at new clothes at the store before going to the consignment shop. The cheapest, cheap pants were $4.98 so I definitely saved money on the black and grey pants. The grew pants with the white and orange stripes down the leg are very sturdy, very thick, in great condition and are WAY nicer than the brand new pants in the store that I saw for $4.98. The cheapest blue jeans I saw brand new at the store were $10 so I saved money on the brand new grey $6.34 pants too (plus the store tag that was on them said $19.50).
I justified the two "over $5" purchases because of the $1.92 pants. I hate shopping but now he has more pants that fit and a nice sweater. I'll call the "thrift" store shopping trip a win.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Well, I gave it a go
I am really tired and a little brain dead right now but I feel like I have a lot I want to write about tonight. So I've chosen one of today's news stories (haha, I just called moments in my life "news stories") and I will be bringing you another installment of "How I'm trying to put Money Secrets of the Amish into use."
First of all today was a horrible spending day. Horrible! I don't even want to look at all the spending we did set side by side but I think I successfully put two of the book's principles into play. Our oven went on the fritz a few weeks back (and we do not own a microwave anymore). You know how much I adore baking? I haven't done any baking for several weeks except for one time when I decided I'd given the oven enough "rest" so I figured I could try to bake an apple pie. Yeah, um, it took about two hours for the pie to bake fully (it was supposed to take around 45 minutes) and the crust was weird and the apples dried out pretty badly. Epic fail and then "yep, the oven is really broken" reality set in.
My husband had said something about going to look for a new oven. I gasped and said, "Uh, no we need to call an oven repair man." He then goes, I kid you not, "do they have those and how do you think you're going to find one?" Have I mentioned that my husband is the exact opposite of mr. fix-it? Okay, deep breath... "Yes honey." Without telling him that a new oven is NOT in the budget, because really he's sick of hearing about what is not in the budget, I explained to him that our oven is really old but really nice and I am not prepared to scrap it.
The book Money Secrets of the Amish talks a lot about fixing things up that you already have instead of going out to get new versions. The author writes about how often times the Amish will go out and buy used and broken down items and fix those up instead of buying anything new.
Now here's where I could make this very long story short but my husband doesn't get that much credit so I must brag on him a little here. He took it upon himself to find and to call one of these oven repair men that he didn't even know existed. I didn't know until I got home from work one day that he'd scheduled someone to come by. He scheduled the first place that he could get a hold of (many of the numbers he called never answered). The place he scheduled has a $95 service fee. It's also a very high end appliance sales place in town. My husband all on his own decided that the $95 was way too high and that we were going got get raked. Then he got a hold of someone else that his mother recommended. This oven repair man stopped by last week, looked at the oven, ooh'd and ahh'd over the oven, said he used to own a less extravagant version of the same model, "they don't make em like the used to," and then said he'd have to order a part and would get back to us.
He left without billing us after chatting away with my husband for at least 20 minutes and came back today and repaired the oven. The total cost was $140. Here's the most interesting part to me. He said that they had "old" new parts for our oven in their warehouse. This would be a brand new part for the oven but old/ made a very long time ago (just like the oven). The old new part cost $40. The new new part would have cost $95. Mind you we never once brought up price or cost or any financial anything. He said the old new part is actually a lot better/ higher quality and he recommends it but a lot of people would prefer new. My husband was more than happy to pay $55 less for the same part. I guess all my "nagging" is really starting to sink in.
For a brand new oven, we'd probably be looking at a price tag between $500 and $1500.
For the repair we spent $140.
That's a win!
And the oven is working great now. Little Abe currently has handfuls of mini banana bread muffins in his fists. I'm not joking. We LOVE mini banana bread muffins and I've not been able to make any for weeks!
First of all today was a horrible spending day. Horrible! I don't even want to look at all the spending we did set side by side but I think I successfully put two of the book's principles into play. Our oven went on the fritz a few weeks back (and we do not own a microwave anymore). You know how much I adore baking? I haven't done any baking for several weeks except for one time when I decided I'd given the oven enough "rest" so I figured I could try to bake an apple pie. Yeah, um, it took about two hours for the pie to bake fully (it was supposed to take around 45 minutes) and the crust was weird and the apples dried out pretty badly. Epic fail and then "yep, the oven is really broken" reality set in.
My husband had said something about going to look for a new oven. I gasped and said, "Uh, no we need to call an oven repair man." He then goes, I kid you not, "do they have those and how do you think you're going to find one?" Have I mentioned that my husband is the exact opposite of mr. fix-it? Okay, deep breath... "Yes honey." Without telling him that a new oven is NOT in the budget, because really he's sick of hearing about what is not in the budget, I explained to him that our oven is really old but really nice and I am not prepared to scrap it.
The book Money Secrets of the Amish talks a lot about fixing things up that you already have instead of going out to get new versions. The author writes about how often times the Amish will go out and buy used and broken down items and fix those up instead of buying anything new.
Now here's where I could make this very long story short but my husband doesn't get that much credit so I must brag on him a little here. He took it upon himself to find and to call one of these oven repair men that he didn't even know existed. I didn't know until I got home from work one day that he'd scheduled someone to come by. He scheduled the first place that he could get a hold of (many of the numbers he called never answered). The place he scheduled has a $95 service fee. It's also a very high end appliance sales place in town. My husband all on his own decided that the $95 was way too high and that we were going got get raked. Then he got a hold of someone else that his mother recommended. This oven repair man stopped by last week, looked at the oven, ooh'd and ahh'd over the oven, said he used to own a less extravagant version of the same model, "they don't make em like the used to," and then said he'd have to order a part and would get back to us.
He left without billing us after chatting away with my husband for at least 20 minutes and came back today and repaired the oven. The total cost was $140. Here's the most interesting part to me. He said that they had "old" new parts for our oven in their warehouse. This would be a brand new part for the oven but old/ made a very long time ago (just like the oven). The old new part cost $40. The new new part would have cost $95. Mind you we never once brought up price or cost or any financial anything. He said the old new part is actually a lot better/ higher quality and he recommends it but a lot of people would prefer new. My husband was more than happy to pay $55 less for the same part. I guess all my "nagging" is really starting to sink in.
For a brand new oven, we'd probably be looking at a price tag between $500 and $1500.
For the repair we spent $140.
That's a win!
And the oven is working great now. Little Abe currently has handfuls of mini banana bread muffins in his fists. I'm not joking. We LOVE mini banana bread muffins and I've not been able to make any for weeks!
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Day three of $10 a day (for ten days) AND CHRISTMAS
Yes, Christmas. Ah, Christmas, tied for first for my favorite of all Holidays. I LOVE that it's not just a holiday but an entire season. I LOVE that it's a time to celebrate the most important and most special birthday of all time. I LOVE that it really is a time for giving and the simple fact that it's an entire season means many different wonderful gatherings with loved ones. Oh the music! Oh the decorations! Oh the snow. (I really like snow)
I know, Halloween isn't even here yet. Why am I writing about Christmas? Well I'm pretty sure that my strongest love language is gift giving. But gift giving at Christmas drives me batty, can get me a little depressed, overwhelms me beyond belief and as much as I love to give gifts I walk away from the wonderful Christmas season each year feeling that I did not hit the mark. Still, after all these years, after the frugal hurdles I've scaled, after the penny pinching tests I've passed I am never satisfied with my own Christmas time gift giving. No one else that I know is really frugal like me. I do not think they truly get me. It's a serious area of pressure for me. I have a big family and there just isn't money in the budget to give extravagant gifts to everyone, or anyone for that matter.
Last year I bought dollar store gifts for my nieces and nephews. The game that we played with them was really fun, there were a lot of smiles and laughter and they seemed to enjoy themselves a lot but I felt like a cheapskate. I did not buy gifts for my dad or his two kids (we don't see them very often but they ended up being at the family Christmas party and it was awkward not having gifts for them). My sister is one of the greatest people on the planet and I never feel she gets a sufficient gift from me. The year before last I tried to make neat crafty gifts involving cash and candy for my nieces and nephews. I think they were too young. Only one of them even seemed the least bit interested in the presents. Because my family is on the larger side I never even get gifts for any of my friends or co-workers. Seriously, gifting at Christmas is a huge area of let down for me. I have one living grand-parent. I send him a card but I don't think I've ever given any of my grand-parents a Christmas gift. That seems a very odd thing to even type. Nope, never have. That's weird. How did my mom and dad never encourage us to give presents to our grandparents? Okay, this is a strange later in life revelation I'm suddenly having.
I'm thinking about Christmas right now because I want to be mentally and giftedly prepared this year. I'm attempting at this very moment to scrap all the expectations I put on myself. Yes, I love gifting but perfection is NOT attainable. Repeat that 10 times. "Perfection is NOT attainable." I can't buy any of my nieces a pony. I can't buy my nephews those big kid cars that they can actually sit in and drive around. I'm not going to spend $80 or $50 or $30 on some awesome doll or toy or the latest hottest craze. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. (I haven't see the movie so the song is not stuck in my head now)
After having just read Money Secrets of the Amish I'm opting to go the Amish route this Christmas. I'm going to put a tremendous amount of thought into my gift giving, probably a tremendous amount of energy and effort and very little money. I'm going to try and gift homemade things that I love. And I'm not going to beat myself up about it not being enough, not being good enough, not being... perfect. Okay, this last part is probably the main reason I'm writing this post IN SEPTEMBER. I don't want to beat myself up about Christmas gifts this year. Why do I feel so much pressure about this?
Spending rundown today: $0, NO SPEND day 73 for the year.
My budget for the month is $450.79 which leaves $67.55
Average daily spending for 2015: $17.87
I know, Halloween isn't even here yet. Why am I writing about Christmas? Well I'm pretty sure that my strongest love language is gift giving. But gift giving at Christmas drives me batty, can get me a little depressed, overwhelms me beyond belief and as much as I love to give gifts I walk away from the wonderful Christmas season each year feeling that I did not hit the mark. Still, after all these years, after the frugal hurdles I've scaled, after the penny pinching tests I've passed I am never satisfied with my own Christmas time gift giving. No one else that I know is really frugal like me. I do not think they truly get me. It's a serious area of pressure for me. I have a big family and there just isn't money in the budget to give extravagant gifts to everyone, or anyone for that matter.
Last year I bought dollar store gifts for my nieces and nephews. The game that we played with them was really fun, there were a lot of smiles and laughter and they seemed to enjoy themselves a lot but I felt like a cheapskate. I did not buy gifts for my dad or his two kids (we don't see them very often but they ended up being at the family Christmas party and it was awkward not having gifts for them). My sister is one of the greatest people on the planet and I never feel she gets a sufficient gift from me. The year before last I tried to make neat crafty gifts involving cash and candy for my nieces and nephews. I think they were too young. Only one of them even seemed the least bit interested in the presents. Because my family is on the larger side I never even get gifts for any of my friends or co-workers. Seriously, gifting at Christmas is a huge area of let down for me. I have one living grand-parent. I send him a card but I don't think I've ever given any of my grand-parents a Christmas gift. That seems a very odd thing to even type. Nope, never have. That's weird. How did my mom and dad never encourage us to give presents to our grandparents? Okay, this is a strange later in life revelation I'm suddenly having.
I'm thinking about Christmas right now because I want to be mentally and giftedly prepared this year. I'm attempting at this very moment to scrap all the expectations I put on myself. Yes, I love gifting but perfection is NOT attainable. Repeat that 10 times. "Perfection is NOT attainable." I can't buy any of my nieces a pony. I can't buy my nephews those big kid cars that they can actually sit in and drive around. I'm not going to spend $80 or $50 or $30 on some awesome doll or toy or the latest hottest craze. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go. (I haven't see the movie so the song is not stuck in my head now)
After having just read Money Secrets of the Amish I'm opting to go the Amish route this Christmas. I'm going to put a tremendous amount of thought into my gift giving, probably a tremendous amount of energy and effort and very little money. I'm going to try and gift homemade things that I love. And I'm not going to beat myself up about it not being enough, not being good enough, not being... perfect. Okay, this last part is probably the main reason I'm writing this post IN SEPTEMBER. I don't want to beat myself up about Christmas gifts this year. Why do I feel so much pressure about this?
Spending rundown today: $0, NO SPEND day 73 for the year.
My budget for the month is $450.79 which leaves $67.55
Average daily spending for 2015: $17.87
Friday, September 18, 2015
Stupid Marshmallow!
"If you're thinking about the marshmallow and how delicious it is, then you are going to eat it," Mischel said. "The key is to avoid thinking about it in the first place."I've just had a light bulb moment. I virtually always eat the marshmallow. I'm ruined.
-excerpt from Money Secrets of the Amish
I received the other book *my husband bought* today. The third chapter is titled, "Don't eat the marshmallow: delayed gratification." In a study some four year olds were presented with a marshmallow. They were told they could eat it right then OR if they waited something like an hour they could have two marshmallows. Many chose instant gratification and ate the one marshmallow right then. Some chose to wait so they could get two. The ones who chose to wait didn't sit there staring at the marshmallow on the table but rather played hide and seek under the table or distracted themselves in other ways.
I am terrible, down right horrible with delayed gratification. My husband is even worse than I. Oh goodness how have we survived these past thirteen years living our adult lives together!?!? If I want to eat something I eat it now. It doesn't matter how nutritious it is or if I'm even hungry. If I want it I eat it. I have slowly trained myself to desire less and less things in terms of purchases but I have a VERY difficult time waiting if I do want to purchase something. Heck, sometimes I'll make a grocery plan for the week and even though, on a Friday evening I don't need to run to the store for another two days (when I will actually be at the store working) I'll run out regardless just because I can't wait to buy those groceries I have committed to paper. Sometimes I'll have a plan to do these chores or those, whatever, but if I want to watch a show or read a book or sit down at the computer instead, good riddance to you delayed gratification, those chores can wait I'm going to do the fun thing instead. Neither my husband nor myself hardly ever make it to the actual holiday or birthday before giving each other the gifts we've gotten for one another. I'm looking over my habits and lifestyle and realizing I am horrible in this regard.
The book talks about how delayed gratification is one of the money secrets of the Amish. They are very good at waiting for the bigger picture. Let's face it delayed gratification usually makes the thing you were waiting for better and often times, like getting the two marshmallows later as opposed to the one right now, the outcome of delayed gratification is bigger and better than what it's instant counter part would have been.
Oh, please tell me you can teach an old dog new tricks? (I know, I know that you can) I was not taught this as a child. When my parents split, at age ten, we kiddos began basically taking care of ourselves. This of course meant for the most part we ate what we wanted when we wanted, as long as it was in the fridge or cupboards. We did what we wanted when we wanted. Heck I was the only one in the family that ever cleaned anything and only to maintain my sanity. I never did homework, for school. Honestly almost never. Well, now that I've identified a HUGE area of myself that needs working on... oh boy, not something else. This is truly a root cause for many of my issues though. Oh that darn Marshmallow!
And now there's something else that I consciously need to work on with my little one. Honestly, since I was never taught it, I can look at my parenting style and delayed gratification is not something I instill in him often. Wow. Just wow.
Walter Mischel, the Standford professor of psychology in charge of the marshmallow experiment, was quoted in a 2009 New Yorker article: ""This is where your parents are important," he said. "Have they established rituals that force you to delay on a daily basis? Do they encourage you to wait? And do they make waiting worthwhile?" According to Mischel, even the most mundane routines of childhood - such as not snacking before dinner, or saving up your allowance, or holding out until Christmas morning - are really sly exercises in cognitive training: we're teaching ourselves how to think so that we can outsmart our desires."
-excerpt from Money Secrets of the Amish
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Are You Wealthy?
I received "The Millionaire Next Door" in the mail today. (referenced in a post last week) Only 14 pages in, I am really enjoying the way the Authors explain their definition of wealthy. I also really like their definition of wealthy. Normally wealth is thought of in terms of material possession and the total sum of money you have in savings. They define it based rather on percentages. How much do you save compared with how much you earn?
Here's the fun formula you can use to find out if you are wealthy:
Take your age and multiply it by your before tax total yearly income, this would include income from investments. Then you divide that number by ten. The example, "a 41 year old makes $143,000 a year, and has investments that return another $12,000 a year. He would multiply 41x155000 and then divide by 10. This 41 year old SHOULD have a net worth of $635,500. That net worth would classify him as an "average accumulator of wealth." A greater net worth would classify him as a "prodigious accumulator of wealth," WEALTHY! And a smaller net worth would classify him as an "under accumulator of wealth."
So maybe you don't have $1 million or $3 million in net worth (maybe you do), are you a prodigious accumulator, an average accumulator, or an under accumulator of wealth? Are you wealthy?
We are very much "under accumulators of wealth." We are in debt and our net worth is very low, although it has just recently rose from a negative amount. I read these past few pages in this book though and I have to be slightly impressed not only with the progress we've made in getting out of debt but the fact that I've learned to live such a very low consumption level lifestyle. We ARE on the right track! This is the exact sort of lifestyle that it takes to become wealthy; living within your means and saving a great deal along the way. It will take awhile to get there but we ARE on track! Yay!
Here's the fun formula you can use to find out if you are wealthy:
Take your age and multiply it by your before tax total yearly income, this would include income from investments. Then you divide that number by ten. The example, "a 41 year old makes $143,000 a year, and has investments that return another $12,000 a year. He would multiply 41x155000 and then divide by 10. This 41 year old SHOULD have a net worth of $635,500. That net worth would classify him as an "average accumulator of wealth." A greater net worth would classify him as a "prodigious accumulator of wealth," WEALTHY! And a smaller net worth would classify him as an "under accumulator of wealth."
You may ask, how can someone be considered wealthy if, for example he is only worth $460,000? After all, he's not a millionaire. Charles Bobbins is a forty-one-year-old fireman. His wife is a secretary. They have a combined annual income of $55,000. According to our research findings, Mr. Bobbins should have a net worth of approximately $225,000. But he is worth much more than others in his income/ age category. Mr. and Mrs. Bobbins have been able to accumulate an above average amount of net worth. Thus, they apparently know how to live on a fireman's and secretary's income an still save and invest a good bit. They likely have a low-consumption lifestyle. And given this lifestyle, Mr. Bobbins could sustain himself and his family for ten years without working. Within their income and age categories the Bobbinses are wealthy [at $460,000 net worth].
The Bobbinses are quite different from John J. Ashton, M.D., age fifty-six, who has an annual income of approximately $560,000. How much is Dr. Ashton worth? Is he wealthy? According to one definition, he is, since his net worth is $1.1 million. But he is not wealthy according to our other definition. Given his age and income, he should be worth more than $3 million. With his high-consumption lifestyle, how long do you think Dr. Ashton could sustain himself and his family if he were no longer employed? Perhaps for two, at most three, years.
-excerpt from The Millionaire Next Door
So maybe you don't have $1 million or $3 million in net worth (maybe you do), are you a prodigious accumulator, an average accumulator, or an under accumulator of wealth? Are you wealthy?
We are very much "under accumulators of wealth." We are in debt and our net worth is very low, although it has just recently rose from a negative amount. I read these past few pages in this book though and I have to be slightly impressed not only with the progress we've made in getting out of debt but the fact that I've learned to live such a very low consumption level lifestyle. We ARE on the right track! This is the exact sort of lifestyle that it takes to become wealthy; living within your means and saving a great deal along the way. It will take awhile to get there but we ARE on track! Yay!
Spending rundown today: $1.68 on lunch. $15.01 on groceries.
My budget for the month is $513.62 which leaves $203.92
Average daily spending for 2015: $18.00
Friday, September 11, 2015
Men are from Mars Women are from Venus
So it's no secret that in our home my husband is the spender and I am the, hmm, would be saver if we had extra to save. My husband put in a vacation day for last week so he worked 5 days but got paid for 6. Mistakenly, he told me that he'd done this so I worked it into the budget. "Worked it into the budget" means moved payments around so that everything would be getting paid on time (as opposed to two things I was going to be paying late) and sort of covered some of his back spending (dinner out with friends and a few CD's he recently purchased) with the extra income. I always do this. I literally look over and sometimes re-work the budget every single day.
We don't fight about money any more, hardly ever anyway. At the beginning of this year I made a conscious decision that yes we are married and this is a union but he is his own person and our marriage isn't worth ruining over constant battling about the budget. Money will never be that important to me. I have stuck to my decision and hardly pester or even question him about, in my mind, nonsense over spending. And in truth I think he's done better with his purchasing decisions this year then ever before. (it's worth noting, again, that this is our highest ever debt payoff year)
When he told me yesterday what he planned to purchase with the extra money from the vacation day I should have seen it coming but I hadn't. I told him that I'd already worked it into the budget and he could tell I was extremely frustrated. He said something like, "Why do you do that? When there's extra just leave it alone." He said something about how I "could have all the extra money" from the upcoming holiday pay. Then I got mad and I might have yelled at him when I said, "You mean to pay bills! You know I never buy ANYTHING for myself right?!?! Nothing! EVER!"
So here's where it gets kind of funny and the only reason I even bothered to type any of this out, I really try to keep him out of this blog. Every time I mention him I get well intentioned comments from readers about how he needs to grow up and things along that line. I don't need to hear things like that. He is my husband and he sucks with money but he is a good man. Well, I had three books sitting in my shopping cart on Amazon. I hadn't intended to purchase any of them anytime soon (and probably would have gotten them from the library). They were all used, pretty cheap books but each had several dollars shipping costs so they came out to about $6 each. I put them in the shopping cart online so that I didn't forget that I wanted them.
After our argument I went to work and he went to Amazon and purchased the three books. Then when I got home he told me that he wasn't going to buy the thing he'd planned to buy (it wasn't exactly a cheap item) and that he'd gotten the books for me that were in the cart. I never told him that he couldn't or not to buy what he wanted. And now I will be getting two books about MONEY and frugality and a children's book for little Abe about bravery. I don't think he knows that he just bought two books about spending less for me. That's funny right? What an incredibly odd form of an apology to your wife when fighting about spending too much money. I hope this little story made some of you giggle. I keep laughing to myself about it.
We don't fight about money any more, hardly ever anyway. At the beginning of this year I made a conscious decision that yes we are married and this is a union but he is his own person and our marriage isn't worth ruining over constant battling about the budget. Money will never be that important to me. I have stuck to my decision and hardly pester or even question him about, in my mind, nonsense over spending. And in truth I think he's done better with his purchasing decisions this year then ever before. (it's worth noting, again, that this is our highest ever debt payoff year)
When he told me yesterday what he planned to purchase with the extra money from the vacation day I should have seen it coming but I hadn't. I told him that I'd already worked it into the budget and he could tell I was extremely frustrated. He said something like, "Why do you do that? When there's extra just leave it alone." He said something about how I "could have all the extra money" from the upcoming holiday pay. Then I got mad and I might have yelled at him when I said, "You mean to pay bills! You know I never buy ANYTHING for myself right?!?! Nothing! EVER!"
So here's where it gets kind of funny and the only reason I even bothered to type any of this out, I really try to keep him out of this blog. Every time I mention him I get well intentioned comments from readers about how he needs to grow up and things along that line. I don't need to hear things like that. He is my husband and he sucks with money but he is a good man. Well, I had three books sitting in my shopping cart on Amazon. I hadn't intended to purchase any of them anytime soon (and probably would have gotten them from the library). They were all used, pretty cheap books but each had several dollars shipping costs so they came out to about $6 each. I put them in the shopping cart online so that I didn't forget that I wanted them.
After our argument I went to work and he went to Amazon and purchased the three books. Then when I got home he told me that he wasn't going to buy the thing he'd planned to buy (it wasn't exactly a cheap item) and that he'd gotten the books for me that were in the cart. I never told him that he couldn't or not to buy what he wanted. And now I will be getting two books about MONEY and frugality and a children's book for little Abe about bravery. I don't think he knows that he just bought two books about spending less for me. That's funny right? What an incredibly odd form of an apology to your wife when fighting about spending too much money. I hope this little story made some of you giggle. I keep laughing to myself about it.
Just as a man is fulfilled through working out the intricate details of solving a problem, a woman is fulfilled through talking about the details of her problems.
- John N. Gray
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
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