Saturday, June 2, 2012

My Monster is Back

I've been fighting, really REALLY fighting urges to buy everything lately. I'm so mad that this little monster is back. Over the past two years I've done so good at caging the little beast. I actually thought it was gone. Nope.

Ever since I've been back to work (four weeks already) I've been fighting the consumer mentality. "Ooh, that outfit for baby boy would be soooo cute!.. ahh, we really need a new one of those (bed sheets, socks, pants, shoes, baby swaddler, additional random nonsense that we in NO WAY actually need)... goodness, that sale is so great I really should pick one of those up!" Seriously the monster is back!

As Dave Ramsey says, getting a good deal on something you don't actually need is in no way a good deal. I've learned that I really don't need much of anything (else). We've too much already and yet little monster is back yelling her ugly head off, "BUY IT!" For the most part I haven't been listening but it tears me down so much. I leave work (a supermarket) everyday with a long lovely list compiled over the past 8 hours of random items that I really feel we need/ could benefit from/ I'd love to purchase and bring home to meet my family. There's such a feeling of void while this list floats around in my head but my hands are empty. Again, I've been doing pretty good just leaving the list in the confines of my mind and not realizing it but the battle is agonizing.

I've noticed that even though I have been winning the initial battle the little monster is leaving me wiped out for my journey home. We've been eating takeout ALOT and spending a ridiculous amount of money on food stuffs. I think that I feel this small sense of accomplishment for not acquiring the items on the previously mentioned list, and yet I want to fill the void with something still and food is great for this. SO I don't spend money on stuff but then I sort of mend the wound and reward the accomplishment by spending money on calories. OH, THE BATTLE RAGES ON!

I'm weak. I'm tired. I'm finding myself rather regressed but I'm still determined to ditch this debt and come out on the other side a financially strong responsible woman and mommy!


  1. I think most people trying to stick to a budget feel like that sometimes. I know I do. I would love to be able to just do whatever I want, or buy whatever takes my fancy, but then I would undo all the good work that I have done.

    I just got a fairly decent tax refund back (I was on the wrong tax code for six months!!), and it feels like "free" money so it is even more tempting to spend! I haven't yet though!

  2. It sucks but I think a lot of people feel this way. I do too, ai feel like to curb my *need* to spend I just can't leave the house. If I leave the house I will just go crazy dropping bills.

  3. You have 4 of your 8 goals accomplished, let that drive you! Was it Dave Ramsey who also said that "you should have as much fun spending money as you do saving money?" I think you're doing great and really enjoy reading your blog :)

  4. Maybe it would help to think of what your baby might need in, say, twelve years. Andrea at So Over Debt wants to send her child (who would benefit from some extra attention) to a Montessori school. She lamented all those frivolous purchases she made when she thinks about how that money could be used to help her son now.

    It might be nice motivation for you, to think about what could happen and how the extra cash that you spent every day on donuts might help. *just a thought*

    BTW, appreciate the honesty of your blog. Good luck.

  5. I don't know how many times I felt disappointed about not being able to buy "this shirt" or "that book" but I try to remind myself that it will only make me happy for a short moment but will add to me being upset about debt that we didn't need! You are not alone in this journey :)