I've been fighting, really REALLY fighting urges to buy everything lately. I'm so mad that this little monster is back. Over the past two years I've done so good at caging the little beast. I actually thought it was gone. Nope.
Ever since I've been back to work (four weeks already) I've been fighting the consumer mentality. "Ooh, that outfit for baby boy would be soooo cute!.. ahh, we really need a new one of those (bed sheets, socks, pants, shoes, baby swaddler, additional random nonsense that we in NO WAY actually need)... goodness, that sale is so great I really should pick one of those up!" Seriously the monster is back!
As Dave Ramsey says, getting a good deal on something you don't actually need is in no way a good deal. I've learned that I really don't need much of anything (else). We've too much already and yet little monster is back yelling her ugly head off, "BUY IT!" For the most part I haven't been listening but it tears me down so much. I leave work (a supermarket) everyday with a long lovely list compiled over the past 8 hours of random items that I really feel we need/ could benefit from/ I'd love to purchase and bring home to meet my family. There's such a feeling of void while this list floats around in my head but my hands are empty. Again, I've been doing pretty good just leaving the list in the confines of my mind and not realizing it but the battle is agonizing.
I've noticed that even though I have been winning the initial battle the little monster is leaving me wiped out for my journey home. We've been eating takeout ALOT and spending a ridiculous amount of money on food stuffs. I think that I feel this small sense of accomplishment for not acquiring the items on the previously mentioned list, and yet I want to fill the void with something still and food is great for this. SO I don't spend money on stuff but then I sort of mend the wound and reward the accomplishment by spending money on calories. OH, THE BATTLE RAGES ON!
I'm weak. I'm tired. I'm finding myself rather regressed but I'm still determined to ditch this debt and come out on the other side a financially strong responsible woman and mommy!