Saturday, June 22, 2013

One Itty, Bitty, Tiny, HUGE Moment for Me

If you've been reading along for a bit then you know that my husband and I are not quite on the same page in the getting out of debt story. I've learned to be frugal(er) and I generally don't spend much money. I budget, try to save, and budget some more. He on the other hand spends, and spends, AND spends. And generally doesn't want to even look at the budget.

When I started this blog you could say that I was on page 197 and he was still on page 2. He's little by little grown closer to understanding my "obsession." He's little by little cut out purchases that had once been regular wasteful habits (like buying new release movies EVERY week). We've a long way to go still in terms of having the same financial vision. He might be on page 32 now (this is all metaphorical).

The other day we had a moment; one of those moments when the sky seems to shimmer with glitter, the sun radiantly glows up above, and the birds tweet happy little bird songs as you stroll upon your path. I shall explain, but be prepared this was a big deal to me, a HUGE deal, but you might just end up with, "huh, so what." Hubby and I both feel in quite a rut as of late... it's horrible! We were going for a walk and I started with, "Honey, I think we need a goal... something to dream for." He says, "what do you mean?" Me, "you know, like a trip to Hawaii or Ireland again, or something to work together for, maybe we plan to move someday." This is where I enter a state of shock. He then says, "I thought we already had that." Me, "um, what is our dream?" He then says, "Aren't we trying to get out of debt? Be financially free? Pay everything off?"

Okay, you'd think I'd assume he knew this already right... but as long as I've been "trying" to get out of debt I never, ever, EVER thought this was "our" dream. He's never taken ownership of it. Heck, he still might not be ready to take ownership of it but just hearing (he's not a big talker, AT ALL) that he is actually much much closer to being on the same page as me, that WE SHARE A VISION, oh my goodness. I needed that!

Oh, the journey; the amazing, horrible, really slow going (for me), getting out of debt journey!
Glitter, glitter, glitter!


  1. This totally made me smile! I get where you are coming from. Although my husband and I are on the same page, well, just a few off, dreams can be very different. I am thrilled for you both!

  2. I just started reading your blog....I was cracking up reading this post because I felt I was reading about us a few years back.... I couldn't stop the spending... One thing that helped us, we decided to have allowances each month.. I couldn't say a thing about what he bought...It was his money and he could do what ever he wanted... When he had to spend his own money the stuff wasn't as important...He would make goals for himself and bought an I-pad and all this techy would take him a little time to save but the fact he had control of his own money without me getting onto him about buying things really worked for us...

    Glad things are working out for you and he is coming around....

  3. I think it's definitely a progress :)

  4. Awww!!!! "... umm, what is our dream?" :)) That is SO neat. It IS a big deal, and absolutely something that can carry you for a long, long time.

  5. This made me smile. :) Glad he's finally acknowledging the debt payoff goal! My husband still doesn't show much of a vested interest in anything money-wise, but he's gotten a lot better at the spending. Praise him when he does frugal things. Let him know that it makes you feel happy when he sticks to the budget or has his own no-spends. Guys can be pretty dense :)

  6. I think I could have written this post. The first half anyway. My husband and I have been trying to get out of debt but he is such a spender and sucks me into spending too. Just this weekend he was saying "OK no more eating out starting Monday" and guess what this morning he starts in on the " I know we said we wouldn't eat out but..." Thankfully I cut him off and said NO! Eat a sandwich! lol

    1. I feel like there are ALOT of us out there (one way or the other) living with a spouse who is on a totally different page or possibly in a different book. I listen to Dave Ramsey on the radio sometimes if I work late and there are pretty often woman who call in and ask what to do about their other half who won't stop spending. Dave pretty much always says, "there's nothing you can do." It makes me tear up every time because I know so well how hopeless they feel at times. But keep staying strong. (I know, it's impossible sometimes. My husband helps me spend too) you are SO not alone and I truly believe that with love and patience the spenders will eventually get it, eventually.