Monday, June 20, 2016

When Horrible Becomes Normal

Several people at work today asked me how I was liking the new job. My answer to all of them was, "I actually love it!" And frankly, those words were filled with sincerity and enthusiasm each time I said them.

I'm not sure that during my twenty some years of employment I have ever said, "I love my job." And yet today I said it at least four times. Work has always just been something that needs to be done for a pay check, you know. Now, don't go thinking that I've found myself some super fun, creative, dream career. Not in the least. My new job is a little weird, very busy, go, go go; it's almost exactly what I was doing before minus a lot of little awkward and messy details and all of the chaos.

Before I left my last job, before I buckled down and finally told myself that enough was enough I had completely gotten used to the disorganization, the horrible communication, and the obscene inconsistencies on a daily basis. I had gotten used to my hours being all over the spectrum. I had gotten used to constant stress and anxiety. I had gotten used to horrible. I knew that it was bad. I knew that it was getting worse. But it was my job. It had been my job for twelve and a half years, well over half of my working life and longer than all five of my other jobs combined.

Only today, after the fourth or fifth person had asked me how I was liking the new job, only after I answered with the utmost sincerity each time, "I actually love it!", only after I started to listen to myself say it and realize how refreshed, how revitalized, how excited I was to just be doing a regular job at one location for a company that strives to have all of their ducks in a row did I realize how truly normal horrible had become.

When horrible becomes normal it's virtually impossible to see it for what it truly is: not okay. I'm beyond words glad that I got out. June has truly, TRULY been filled to overflowing with sunshine!

10 comments:

  1. Isn't it amazing what we endure because we are either to scared or to lazy to do anything about it? I was at my last job for 16 years and absolutely HATED it the last 2 years but never did anything about it because "I was too old", "I don't know computers that well", etc. I finally quit when I couldn't take the stress anymore and am fortunate enough to have been able to "retire" (not old enough to get benefits, but financially we can make it on hubbies salary) and not having that stress is a Godsend!!! I would go to bed Friday night dreading getting up on Monday....not a healthy way to live!!!

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    1. I'm so glad you were able to "retire." The stress is not worth it! You're right, it's amazing what we just deal with.

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  2. Keep enjoying the new normal. Life's too short to stay in a grotty job.

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    1. I do keep thinking about that. The new normal isn't normal yet, and in my perspective it's regularly being compared to the old (horrible) normal. I do plan to keep on enjoying it, but I want to be mindful of just getting used it. I do really like my new job.

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  3. Loving what you do for a living is ideal! Glad you have found it!

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    1. I want to be a stay at home mom for a living. I mean, no question about it that's what I've always wanted. But we need the additional income. So, for now I've found a pretty great compromise. For my part time supplemental income job I do actually really like it. It's about time too!

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  4. I guess if you are in a situation that starts to go bad incrementally it's harder to see how bad it has gotten until it's so bad it's terrible. Does that make sense?
    It's like if you are in a tub of hot water and make it hotter a little at a time rather than jumping into a boiling hot tub, you don't notice that you are burning up. lolz

    I am glad you are happier now with your job. Nobody deserves to be miserable at work.....

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    1. It's exactly like that. I was completely sitting in a tub of boiling water and I could tell it was really hot and uncomfortable but I'd been in there for so long, with such a slow steady increase in temperature that I did not realize how much damage it was doing to me. As usual, you're brilliant!

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  5. That is amazing, and really hits home about your job. I can definitely not say that I'm "loving" mine. At all. And, it does just gradually wear you down to the point that your perspective is very unclear. So happy for you!

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    1. Thank-you. I was pretty miserable but I honestly had no idea how damaging the position was to me while I was living it. Hindsight really is 20/20.

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