Sunday, October 11, 2015

Ah, the rollercoaster called life!

There is nothing major going on. I am honestly very thankful for that. Nothing major is always a perk in my book.

There are all these little side swipes and gut jabs though. I have been working so hard at budgeting in Christmas, at trying to get the bills paid on time, at keeping my spending down. I have $591 in the budget set aside at the end of December to pay off the smallest credit card. I'm constantly seeing people paying off thousands here and thousands there. Well, $591 is a lot of money for us and I've been REALLY excited about paying off a credit card this year. It's been way too long since we paid one off. We got a bill in the mail yesterday for $533 for an MRI my husband had last month. I suppose I should have been expecting this bill but I wasn't. I hadn't realized we would still owe so much after insurance (we pay a crap load in premiums and hardly ever use any sort of medical care well except for the Chiropractor that I've just recently stopped going to that I pay all out of pocket for because insurance won't touch it). The plus is that we have the money to pay the bill since I already set it aside to pay off the credit card. The negative is me feeling a tiny bit heart broken.

I just looked at my worklist this week for my job. I have 25 hours worth of work scheduled for tomorrow. Needless to say I won't be getting everything on my workist done (last I checked there's only 24 hours in a day and I'm not planning on working 120 hours this week) but that leaves me feeling scattered all week and then next week and probably the next because I hate not getting all of my completely done and to the very best of my ability. The plus is that I'm not the only one in this situation. It's pretty much like this for all the reps. Too much work came in, the company took it all and now we're all up a creek but boy does it stress me out. It's not even like I could get all my work done if I asked my husband to forgo sleep and I worked 10 hour days all week (I'm not going to do that).

I haven't mentioned it here but our oven hasn't been working properly for a few weeks. Since I'm venting, might as well get it out there. We have a very nice very old oven. A repair guy came yesterday and said he should be able to fix it once he gets a part. I'm very hopeful that it will be getting fixed but that's just another little jab in the gut.

While I'm not looking for sympathy here, like I said nothing major is going on, it does feel good to vent. And I wrote all of the above to say that I'm going to be trying my darnedest to focus on positives all week this week. Instead of freaking out and shutting down I'm going to be looking for positives. I think I can, I think I can... Instead of eating everything in sight and then finding more things to put in sight so that I can eat them I'm going to focus on positives. I think I can, I think I can... Yay, for a new week. Sigh.

My job is really stressing me out the most, making it difficult to sleep well, adding pain to my back (stress is big contributor to pain), and making life more exhausting and gloomy. So job positives first:

1. Practically my entire income has gone to debt payoff this year. The reality of that means I could very well be a stay at home mom without the debt. While this is a positive/ negative observation I look at it as a positive thing.
2. Despite annoying changes as of late my job is really very flexible so that I can work without having to need daycare and can spend the amount of time I desire to spend with my enormous blessing (little Abe).
3. I get weekends off. That's always nice, right.
4. It's kind of fun to drive all over my half of the state for work, no really, I do sort of like the variety of location from day to day.
5. I get to have different co-workers for each day of the week. (they're not technically co-workers in that they don't work for my company but I do get to work with these people in all my stores per-se each week) I mean that's particularly nice if you happen to not like anyone that you work with.
6. More work then I'd like/ am comfortable doing/ working outside of my availability does mean extra income. That's a perk and a no brainer.

That's all I've got for now. Here's to a fabulous new week! < I do not feel that way right now but I am working on it.


  1. I know exactly where you are coming from - while I am so excited we are finally getting the MUCH NEEDED repairs/remodel done around the house, it is KILLING me to owe money again!!! I am finding now that we are "in debt" again I am spending money without thinking about it - not on anything "frivolous", but things that we don't have to have right now - it is like I've given myself permission to go crazy - that will STOP now and I will be trying to be more positive this week too!!!! We can do this!!!

    1. I know what you mean too. I've been there before where I'm doing something or other and I "allow" myself to spend and I end up just going and going and going. And then I'm like, Oh no what have I done. We CAN do this! Positive October. Circumstances don't matter! I'm really trying hard to tell myself these things. I am super overwhelmed!