I handed him the cash and the very basic very self explanatory budget and said, "I intend to give you one of these each week." He noticed instantly what it was and scowled a bit. He REALLY really HATES anything having to do with the finances (except spending them). Surprisingly he read through it, only let off a little grr (I think it's when he got to the part where I wrote down that he'd already spent $33 in the past two days. He never believes me when I tell him how much he's wasted), and that was that.
I started off his little budget summary with how much was in the checking account before the paycheck was deposited. Then I added and subtracted this weeks income and this weeks bills/ expenses. There are only 6 items on the list and when all is said and done the bottom of the paper shows $30 left in the bank account before the next payday. It's all right there in blue and white for him to plainly see and without me harping on him in anyway he now knows that if he spends more than his cash (and more than the $30 pocket) we will go into overdraft. The ball is in his court now. I'm not the one responsible for slicing down payments on things to cover his extra spending now. I'm not the one having watch like a hawk for overdraft now. He's fully aware and he's no excuse.
I sort of feel like I tricked him in a way. He refuses to talk about the budget. Dave Ramsey says that the budget is something that both people need to be in agreement on. Both people NEED to have a say and take part in it. But half of my people don't want to hear about it, don't want to talk about it, don't want to think about it, and tend to throw a little tantrum when it's brought up. When I handed him the VERY basic budget and the cash he willingly perused it and that was that. No discussion needed, no argument, nothing. BUT later that day he says to me, "you know I'm going to need an oil change next week, and there are several (PS3) games coming up that I'm planning on getting." I said something to the effect of, "that's fine, the oil change is officially in next weeks budget and if you write down when and how much those games are going to be I'll put them in the budget too. But I need you to let me know about them. You can't just spring it on me." He agreed and whalah, we had a little budget meeting (without him even knowing it) hehehe : )
Tiny little victory here at the $12 a day household!!! This debt will be gone. Maternity leave savings... oh yeah. A happy financially free family is in the works.
Hi, hope you're okay - taking care of yourself physically and mentally. Use this time to relax IF you can because your life will be so different once the little one is here.
ReplyDeleteNow, does your husband understand that once you have another mouth to feed the days of buying himself the latest PSP games are gonna be long gone? Without being too harsh it sounds like you already have one child to contend with already but he's going to have to grow up, and quickly. It seems as if you're the one grappling with debts, running the house, worrying about paying stuff off and he's just living like a single man. His refusal to even talk about a budget is just...bizarre, for want of a better word. He's an adult! You share a life, a home and soon a child and he can't just abdicate all responsibility where something as important as your livelihood is concerned. You're trying to repay debts (that I'm guessing you accrued together) and save for maternity leave and your husband is talking about buying computer games for himself?! Speaking from experience I can tell you that he needs to get a grip. You can't do this alone and it seems selfish of him to expect you to do so. I know this might sound mean but I have to say it how I feel because you need to reast, not stress.
K xx
I'm not sure if people check back once they've posted a comment but keshling you're right about it all. There's only so much I can do and I can't make him grow up. I'm hoping that the more he sees the financial situation the more he'll get involved and start taking responsibility. Seriously though he's just like a big kid. i don't know what his parents did to him. I'm working with what I've got :) AND he's going to get a serious reality check once the baby does arrive because he'll be with the little one quite a bit more than i will. he gets out of work at noon and I don't get home till 4 or 5.
ReplyDeleteWow that sounds exactly like me. My BF hates anything to do with finances and he hates it when I put him on a budget, but it needs to be done! I've been talking with the BF more and more about budgeting and so on, luckily enough he seems to be catching on.
ReplyDeleteWow, my boyfriend's the complete opposite! He can be irritatingly stingy sometimes actually! I mean I'm trying to save money but I don't mind spending £3 to go for a dessert every few week for example!
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming that you didn't force the budget on him and that it was mutually agreed that you both need to get out of debt and save for the baby (so exciting!! :D). If he's agreed to it then I don't understand why he gets so wound up! It makes sense!!
Also, about the PS3 games - could you suggest that he waits for a couple of months to get them? The price of games goes down a lot over the first year, so the longer you wait the cheaper they'll be! :)