Financial Goals, Confessions, and Update

My debt/ financial journey thus far has been one of ups and downs and ups and downs and so on. I've used the metaphor of being stuck in a hole that I'm trying to climb out of. Then there's the "climbing" a mountain metaphor. Sadly I think both are accurate; I seem to be stuck in a hole at the bottom of a mountain. I need to climb out of the hole and then scale the mountain. On the other side is total debt payoff and financial peace. Not that finances are ever easy but there is a place of financial responsibility that many climb into with hard work and perseverance. That place is on the other side of the mountain I'm trying to climb.

I started out this year really ashamed because we'd fallen quite a ways down the mountain/ hole (I'm really not out of that darn pit yet). 2012, welcoming our son into the world was the best thing ever but a real financial set back. With hospital bills, new baby expenses, un-paid time off of work, and less hours going back to work, my budget was hit hard. 2013 wasn't tons better but at least my brain had started working again. I would do it all again and again even if it meant not getting to the top of the mountain for 10 years longer than it should have taken. I started this year out thinking that if I could just really focus on my spending again, like I'd done a really great job of in 2011 (my how the years go by) then I'd be happy with that... financial payoff goals on hold. Thus, you have heard VERY LITTLE about my debt and financial matters, other than spending updates this year.

I really admire those faithful Dave Ramsey folks that sell all they have, live off of rice and beans, and hardly leave their houses until their debts are paid off. Every time I'm listening to any of them telling their stories on his radio show I totally tear up. It's amazing how they do it. In the beginning of this journey I'd imagined I could be one of them too. And to be totally honest I think I could be one of them but my other half will never be. It's pretty much set in stone that I have to work with what I've got and what I've got is an amazing man who I adore (and can't stand sometimes) who is NOT keen on thinking about money, talking about money, or being wise with money. I implore you to not be to harsh on him with your judgments. Truth is, I'm noticing more and more in life, that more people than not are crap with money. My husband is just one of those people. He'd make an excellent politician.

So, I'm trying. I really am. Sometimes when I'm trying to figure out how to balance things out, when the car breaks down, when the basement floods and I notice the walls are wet at the bottoms in my upstairs bedroom I use credit cards again. And unfortunately those times are big uses and they do set us back a lot and it makes me slightly crazy and it pisses me off but I'm working with what I have. In many ways I am one of those crazy Dave Ramsey folks but in a marriage, I am really only half a person and the other half of me is very much not apart of the Dave Ramsey crowd.

This is in no way meant to be a "woah is me" complaint post. It's more of a confession. I continue to share my story with you, even though I've slid seemingly so far down the  mountain because I do believe the other side is attainable. I'm trying to get there. Your support truly keeps me going.

I want so desperately to accomplish baby step one (in the Dave Ramsey plan) and fully fund a $1000 emergency fund but truly I'm terrified of doing so. Every single time I have we've ended up using it for a legit emergency only a few days later. I hate that darn emergency fund. I am setting one little goal today, apart from the average daily spending goals that I shoot for and little no spend day goals. I want to save up the money I need for the next two month's payments to the chiropractor. I need $796 for the next two months and I have been toying with the idea of charging it. That's ALOT of money for me to try and come up with but every penny I don't charge I think will make the insides of me smile all the more. There it is. It's a goal. And although it's not technically a debt payoff goal it's a debt reduction goal of sorts as it would cause my debt to not rise.

After all that jazz the good bit of news is that our overall debt has continually, however slowly been going down. For the first 6 years of of marriage it was only ever going up; and skyrocketing at that.

Average daily spending for July: $18.05
$796 goal for chiropractor payment: $0