Monday, May 16, 2016

Comparison is the Death of Joy

We've seen some relatively young individuals going through some really rough times as of late. Specifically, a young thirty something friend of my husband's recently had emergency brain surgery. This individual was the bass player in my husband's longest running band and thus is a pretty good friend of his. The surgery landed our friend in the ICU for two months this year. Very thankfully he pulled through a really rough patch and is doing quite well. After several weeks at a rehabilitation center he is home with his family now and progressing well.

While this friend was in ICU my husband decided that he wanted to organize a benefit concert for him, get local bands together and take donations to raise funds for medical expenses, loss of income, and to show support for him. Nine local bands gathered yesterday for seven hours of loud rock music. I can't say, in all my years of concert going that I've ever seen such a good line up. Every band sounded and performed top notch. The concert goers had a great time. Almost $2000 was raised. My husband promoted with posters, a small local radio station spot, he had a banner made (donated), and t-shirts designed and printed for the event. I'm so incredibly proud of my husband for putting so much heart, so much effort, so much energy, and so much of himself into this event (he's never organized anything (except a surprise birthday party for me) before).

During the organization process someone fairly close to my husband, who was trying to poke at him and knock him down a notch made the comment that he didn't understand why my husband was putting so much energy into this event when, "bad things happen to people all over the place all the time." This statement did what it was intended to do and caused my husband to doubt for a little while. I don't remember how exactly he posed the question to me but it was something like, "do you think it's wrong that I want so badly to make this event great for him when people are struggling all over?"

Comparison is the death of Joy
-Mark Twain

We live such short and often futile lives. Each of our existences are a tiny exhale in the grand scope of living. The people we touch and the joy we bring to the world are much of what make that tiny exhale meaningful. Comparison makes that exhale as if it never was. As if we were nothing, just the same as anything that ever was, ever will be, or will drive a person insane while trying to be different, bigger, better, more... Mark Twain was right and I'm VERY proud of my husband for stopping to make a little difference.

The man with all the hair is mine :)

13 comments:

  1. How sad that someone could/would even make a comment like that. Why NOT help out with this, why NOT help out with anything.....is there bad in the world, of course, but does the good far outweigh the bad? ABSOLUTELY, because people like your husband do the little things like this and make this world a better place!!!!

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    1. I know. If we all decided that our "little bit" of helping wasn't anything in the grand scheme of things then who would ever help anyone. It was a sad comment in the midst of a lot hard work but at least for me it helped put thing in perspective; we need to not compare all these things in our lives and just live.

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  2. I hope the guy was intending to be rhetorical but just think if all people going through rough times had someone caring as your husband does for his friend? The crap would feel less lonely and the world more hopeful. He should be proud of th events success.

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    1. He is very proud of all that was accomplished and I'm so proud of him too. Some people though... I just don't know.

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  3. You and especially your husband are a bright spot in humanity. The person who made that comment is likely a sad, self-absorbed, critical, negative personality. Life is too short to even acknowledge what they say or spend time thinking about it. Be the bright spot that may change their mindset.

    Yours, DeeCee

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    1. Thank-you. I think you're right. I hope that the individual that made the remark saw the good that came out of the event. I hope he realized how much negativity there was in what he said... or that someday he will see it.

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  4. I've not heard that Mark Twain quote before but thank you for it. As you know "Joy" is a very important word to me.

    Here's a quote for you. It's from "Desiderata" which was very popular in the 1970s.
    "Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself."

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    1. "Vain or bitter," absolutely. Comparison is pretty awful, heck just look at Cain and Abel. We should all know better, eh? I believe Mark Twain was very right in his statement too.

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  5. I will agree that bad thing happen all around us all the time, but I also think the old saying "think globally, act locally" is spot on. Each one of us can only do so much, but the impact of any action of kindness and help can be immeasurable to the recipient. And much like a pebble tossed into a pond, that one act causes a ripple effect, and who knows what goodness will radiate from it.
    I like to believe that some time from now, someone who was in a different band or someone who was at the concert will have a friend in need and remember the outpouring of goodness your husband organized and it will impact their decision to help someone else.
    At the end of the day we are only responsible for our own acts and intentions.

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    1. The ripple effect is what I think of too. The action may be so small but all the ripples that come off of it, who knows how far out they may go. Thank-you, I like that saying, "think globally, act locally." That's really so true.

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  6. Making a little difference is really the only opportunity most of us have. I find it sad that people discount that, because not only is it critical for the individual impacted, it's also critical for people like your husband to feel less helpless throughout a difficult process.

    Best wishes being sent to your friend for a full recovery

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    1. Exactly! Anytime anyone makes an effort to help someone, they are indeed helping themselves as well. "It is better to give than to receive." We should all take every opportunity to do a little, give a little and for sure if we're looking around thinking, "oh there's just too many areas of need. I can't help everyone," then what a sad state we'll all find ourselves in always.

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  7. Your hubby did an awesome thing.

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