Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. James 3:5
I haven't much left in the budget this week but I'm not going to get discouraged about it. There've been a few days during these past couple weeks when I've considered my lack of discipline, I've looked at the plans and plans and more plans spread way out into the future which I've made in hopes of tackling this debt and I've been nothing but discouraged. Sometimes it just looks to big, the overall process. Sometimes I begin to lose momentum and I just want to go back to the old ways, to charge and spend and live it up right NOW.
I think I'm slowly working away from those negative moments of discouragement and doubt though. I'm learning that I cannot hold the weight of one or two bad decisions or financial slip ups over my head. When I screw up I have to let it go and move on. I heard the above verse spoken today and I thought about this financial struggle. I can only do this thing if I keep the fire inside burning. When the flame starts to die down the struggle and toil and journey become to difficult to handle. I'm relying on a small spark to burn a mighty forest and I cannot keep beating myself up and risking extinguishing the flame.
I'm REALLY thankful for this blog. Having to face the music everyday is really keeping me and my spending in check. Constantly re-evaluating where the money is going and what wasteful habits we have is seriously helping me change for the better. I love that people are following along with me on my journey. I love that (slowly but surely) I am climbing out of the hole and even though some days all I can do is stop and cling to the steep crumbling dirt lining the walls of my pit and simply catch my breath and look at the bright sky up above past the opening, I am getting there. I am getting out. I am on my way to freedom. The fire burns brighter and Citibank is going DOWN!