I have had NO will power this week. Honestly I think it's because I found out that pretty much everyone in the world is pregnant. Whine, whine, blah, blah... long story short I have a difficult time hearing about all that. It doesn't matter "why" I felt I needed to eat and eat and eat and gain a few pounds and waste a ton of money and delay financial freedom. The matter of fact is that I do really well for a week or a few weeks and then I act like a child for a week or a few weeks. Then I do really well then I fall on my face again.
Frankly I'm glad that I'm getting it all out here; that I'm actually documenting this roller coaster ride; that I'll have the opportunity to look back on this and see what it looked like to journey to freedom; to see the growth that came about in my life BUT I feel terrible that you're all having to read about my garbage. I'd SOOO so so so much rather be able to write everyday that I paid off another card, that I resisted that stupid $4 coffee, that I didn't go out to eat and that I'm so close to victory.
This is really hard. But I need to run the race. I cannot just stroll about the trail. I can't afford the interest payments (in other words I don't want to be giving the credit card companies and my bank hundreds of dollars every single month that I could otherwise be spending on life). I cannot be in debt any longer. It's wrong. It's bad. There are so many dreams that are unattainable while this cloud of darkness sits over our home. Growing up is hard to do (and takes some of us over 30 years).