I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.I've had a few weird inward dilemmas lately. We haven't bought anything for our son yet. I don't feel wrong about it because I know it's more important for him to grow up in a financially stable home then it is for him to have a vast array of brand new items upon his entering this world. But it is a little weird. I know most new parents are buying furniture and stuffed dolls and adorable clothing. We've already been given alot of hand me downs. I know the baby showers will supply a vast array of items. There's a used crib, changing table, and dresser at my dad's if we want them.
-Emile Henry Gauvreau
One part of me says this is our first baby. He deserves the absolute best. Really he deserves the entire world. He's a miracle, he's a dream come true, he's perfection in a tiny little body. But there's another part of me, a louder part of me that says it'll be much MUCH better for him if we don't buy him the world (we can't afford it after all).
Here's the dilemma: one of the questions I've been hearing the absolute most lately is, "do you have the baby room all ready?" Well the answer is no. But I can picture it in my mind. I'm really quite a day dreamer. I can picture the all white glossy walls, the all white furniture, the soft fuzzy white rug in the middle of the room on the chestnut hardwood floors. One of the walls is painted with large bold zebra stripes, but they're lighter and then darker blue instead of black and white. The other three white walls have blue picture frames on them. The frames alternate between the colors of the zebra stripes. In the darker blue frames there are black and white photos of family members, aunts, uncles, cousins, grand and great grand parents, some that are no longer with us. In the lighter blue frames are adorable little sketches of playful cartoon like African animals; zebras, elephants, giraffes. It's a gorgeous little room but no matter how frugally or diligently I might attempt to pull off this little day dream it'd cost a pretty penny we just don't have.
When I first came to the realization that I might not be able to create the "perfect" baby room for my little boy I was a bit heart broken. "He deserves the best!" after all. But the more I've thought about it the more I've realized that it's absolutely not a necessity. We'll love him with or without a magical room. We'll take care of him just the same with or without the perfect room. He'll be his same wonderful little self with or without the room. Only now that I've come to terms with NOT creating a beautiful baby room for our little guy I feel like the whole world is looking down on me and expecting me to do the right thing (give him his awesome little room gosh darn it!). No one's said anything of the sort but it's how I feel about it. It seems wrong to not lavish him with an expensive room. Like I'll be less of a parent if we don't paint and get matching furniture.
Just a little something that's been on my mind as of late.