Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Debt Quote Tuesday and Some Pondering

I was part of that strange race of people aptly described as spending their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.
-Emile Henry Gauvreau
I've had a few weird inward dilemmas lately. We haven't bought anything for our son yet. I don't feel wrong about it because I know it's more important for him to grow up in a financially stable home then it is for him to have a vast array of brand new items upon his entering this world. But it is a little weird. I know most new parents are buying furniture and stuffed dolls and adorable clothing. We've already been given alot of hand me downs. I know the baby showers will supply a vast array of items. There's a used crib, changing table, and dresser at my dad's if we want them. 

One part of me says this is our first baby. He deserves the absolute best. Really he deserves the entire world. He's a miracle, he's a dream come true, he's perfection in a tiny little body. But there's another part of me, a louder part of me that says it'll be much MUCH better for him if we don't buy him the world (we can't afford it after all). 

Here's the dilemma: one of the questions I've been hearing the absolute most lately is, "do you have the baby room all ready?" Well the answer is no. But I can picture it in my mind. I'm really quite a day dreamer. I can picture the all white glossy walls, the all white furniture, the soft fuzzy white rug in the middle of the room on the chestnut hardwood floors. One of the walls is painted with large bold zebra stripes, but they're lighter and then darker blue instead of black and white. The other three white walls have blue picture frames on them. The frames alternate between the colors of the zebra stripes. In the darker blue frames there are black and white photos of family members, aunts, uncles, cousins, grand and great grand parents, some that are no longer with us. In the lighter blue frames are adorable little sketches of playful cartoon like African animals; zebras, elephants, giraffes. It's a gorgeous little room but no matter how frugally or diligently I might attempt to pull off this little day dream it'd cost a pretty penny we just don't have. 

When I first came to the realization that I might not be able to create the "perfect" baby room for my little boy I was a bit heart broken. "He deserves the best!" after all. But the more I've thought about it the more I've realized that it's absolutely not a necessity. We'll love him with or without a magical room. We'll take care of him just the same with or without the perfect room. He'll be his same wonderful little self with or without the room. Only now that I've come to terms with NOT creating a beautiful baby room for our little guy I feel like the whole world is looking down on me and expecting me to do the right thing (give him his awesome little room gosh darn it!). No one's said anything of the sort but it's how I feel about it. It seems wrong to not lavish him with an expensive room. Like I'll be less of a parent if we don't paint and get matching furniture.

Just a little something that's been on my mind as of late.


  1. More people should be thinking the way you are.

  2. I felt that way too, but I really never had the chance to make a beautiful nursery for any of my girls. The basement wasn't finished when Annabelle was born, Ariel had to share with Annabelle, and Arianna has to share with both of the girls.
    What I like to tell myself is that they really could care less if their beds match their curtains or if they have matching lampshades. My family didn't have money growing up and we had no clue. I'd rather save that money and use on them when they are old enough to appreciate and remember.
    Plus you will probably spend so much time holding him that he won't even need a room :)

  3. You are working to give him the awesome gift of financial stable parents and family. That is *way* more important than a room. BTW - the cute baby rooms with matching furniture are for family and friends - not him. He needs a happy and healthy mom and dad who aren't stressed about money. good luck

  4. Our girl, well she has, and always has had, a mismash of everything. Nothing co-ordinates, never has. She wears charity shop clothes too. She loves her life the way it is, the whole *look* for kids, well they don't care, unless we make it their business to care. You will give your chap the best, wallpaper, friezes and curtains don't make it the best. You have the heart, that's what matters.

  5. It is amazing (to me) how Americans do this. Here in NZ I don't know a single person who had a theme room for a baby. It wasn't until I read blogs that I even realised that it existed! Personally I think it is more important that the child can have a bit of personality later. I was allowed to put posters up for example. It didn't cost my parents anything but it made me feel like I was allowed to be myself in my room. I would like to paint my child's room their favourite colour IF I can afford the $50 when the time comes. I have a bright purple room and I love it. Otherwise things like coloured curtains every 10 years :P are good compromises. Keep going on this journey. You are making a difference in your life and in your son's life!

  6. It's much better that you get used stuff, especially if it's good quality. If you have a lot of free time and the money for a couple of cans of paint, you could probably spray it all white anyway if you wanted. I think your dream room could be acheived on a very low budget. Low cost frames would only cost you £1-2 each ($2-3 ish?) and you could paint them to match the walls.

  7. Spend the money and the time on a room that means something to you and for your child. Take all the used things you can from people. A coat of paint or new bed linends can spruce things up. Children grow so fast that new things used for 2 children could still be handed down and looked like new. I have 3 sisters and between us 10 kids. We passed everything around that wasn't being used. My 2 are now in college and we pass around prom gowns, etc.

    Even though I am probably old enough to be your Mom I find such inspiration in your blog and check in a couple of times a week. Keep up the good work and slow and steady wins the race. Best wishes for the holiday and give thanks.