Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Sometimes You Can't See The Blessing Until You're Beyond It

I prayed for my child for most of life and that's no joke, I am a praying woman. It wasn't until 6 days after my 32nd birthday that I got to look upon my son's sweet little face and hold his perfect self in my arms for the very first time. I'd been married for almost 10 years. I'd been anxiously awaiting this wonderful child for about 8 years and then all of the sudden there he was, the small boy who'd change my world.

My friends began having children in their 20's. I spent about a decade feeling so incomplete. For so long there was an ache in my heard that words cannot describe. My son has a place in truly every bit of thankfulness I reflect upon this holiday season. But here's the thing, sometimes you can't see the blessing until you're beyond it.

I would never EVER want to go back to life before Abe. He is my heart running around in a little boy's body. But I had 10 years of blessings that only now I can see. I know and fully believe that my Abe came in God's perfect timing. Today something in me is compelling me to stop and give thanks for all the things I never knew I had during those years I spent dreaming of the future.

Today I am thankful for 32 years of me time.
Is that selfish? No. It was mine and I am thankful for it.
I'm thankful for sitting on my couch for hours reading book after book
in silence or with piano music playing in the back ground.
The ONLY me time I have now is in the shower
while my boy stands outside the door screaming,
"momma, momma, momma!"
over and over and over.

Today I am thankful for 10 and 1/2 years of alone time with my hubby.
Most married couples don't get that until the kids have grown.
As much as I'd have loved being a young(er) momma
I can't describe how much of a blessing 10 years with my man was.

Today I'm thankful for the many, many, many concerts I saw.
There's no way I'd have seen them under different circumstances.
Every single one of those shows (every song) is a part of my past, of me.
Regina Spector, The Killers, The Proclaimers, The Strokes, Interpol,
Over the Rhine (about 10 times), New Order, Pedro the Lion, Starflyer 59,
Girl in a Coma, Nada Surf, Travis, Refused, Sigur Ros, Death cab for Cutie,
Okay, okay, I'm only listing bands that are bigger and I won't pretend there's
anyway you want to read them all or that I could list them all.
I've seen well over 200 concerts.

Oh Goodness, I almost forgot the 10 Cornerstone Music Festivals
almost all attended with my little sister. It really is strange
how events in life shape who you are.
I am very thankful for those moments.

Today I'm thankful for all the traveling I've done.
Most especially 4 mission trips to Guatemala.
I am very thankful for my life right now but
I'm happy that I can look back and see how great life has been thus far.

In short no matter where your feet are set upon at present there is always something spectacular about your current place on the path (no matter how difficult it may be to see right now). That unique blessing or blessings may very likely not be on the otherside of the mountain you're about to climb or beyond the river you're just starting to cross. I encourage you to look, to really REALLY look at right now and to be thankful for something you may otherwise have not seen until you had already passed it by.

Carpe Diem and Happy Thanksgiving!

Average daily spending for November: $11.70
(counting the next 2 days as NO SPENDs in the above average)

Number of days in a row
Not buying food at work: 15
Not making large unnecessary purchases or luxury purchases: 15
Since we last ate out: 5
And I'm at 15 out of 18 NO SPEND days so far this month

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