I've a pretty considerable list of stuff to tackle next year (I like the challenge). I've decided to get the party started early since there's no better time for change than right now. The acronym BHAG still makes me giggle so I've decided to run with it. Next year I will have a long list of "B"ig "H"airy "A"udacious "G"oals. Why not? Like I always say if you shoot for the stars you might just make it to the moon (this applies to me and my "halfway" there approach to every goal).
Today I'm starting with what might be the most important BHAG. For the past two years I've had a goal on the sidebar: Get husband on board budget. He's SLOWLY spending less and kind of, sort of, maybe beginning to understand where I'm coming from but we've a lot of tension in our home. There are way too many couples in a similar situation when it comes to finances. Financial stress is the number one reason for divorce, statistically. But when spouses aren't on the same page financially (or with other big issues) there's almost always going to be tension. Sadly you can't make someone jump on board your page anymore than they can make you abandon yours and jump aboard theirs. This year I "intend" to shift gears. I'm making a new goal as it relates to my husband and money. You ready for it: Respect him.
My goal is to act differently. I want to cut the tension, the accumulating separateness, and the disappointment we both feel by dropping the issues altogether and just loving him; just giving him respect because he is a good man that I love and who works hard for us. This is a HUGE goal. This involves DAILY pushing aside emotions and doing what I know I should do, saying what I know I should say, and acting how I know I should act rather than how I feel.
I intend to be more focused then ever on our financial situation this year but when it comes to my marriage and my husband I just want a clean slate. Don't get me wrong, clean slates aren't easy to come by. It can take some serious elbow grease to get the "stuff" off the slate but I intend to work on cleaning it. I wouldn't want any other man and he deserves to be treated along these lines.
Okay, It's only 3PM so I probably shouldn't declare today a NO SPEND just yet but so far so good with day 96... only 8 to go!
Awesome goal. Lots of food for thought.
ReplyDeleteI've been so frustrated that I've just stopped being nice, unintentionally. It's time to start being intentional. At least trying to be kind and respectful won't hurt.
Deletewe found a wonderfull cause to save up for, besides doing things to improve our little house. And its something really big for boyfriend dearest. So getting him on board wasnt that hard this time. We're starting on -1300 and planning to go to +20000 in about 4 years. The fun is, I know we can, if we try hard enough...
ReplyDeleteHooray, that is really something to shoot for! I'm glad you figured out a way to get him on board : )
DeleteI saved my marriage by watching Dr. Phil, for real. I had pointed my finger so much at my husband and convinced myself that everything was his fault. It was very hard to look at myself and see what I could change. Dr. Phil gave me new perspective.
ReplyDeleteI read this book called "Love and Respect" years ago and at the time I was like, "oh, neat." Recently I've been noticing myself getting more and more angry and frustrated and mean towards my husband. Stuff is just building up and like you said, "it's all his fault..." right? I decided to read the book again and was like, "oh my gosh! I'm a jerk..." this time. He's not blameless but for sure I've been going about things wrong. He does deserve respect and he has not been getting it. At least that much I can change... acting out of emotions never helps a situation.
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