This is Supposed to be One of Those "Go Get Em" Posts

I apologize ahead of time if this entire post ends up sounding like a jumbled mess. I am very tired (probably shouldn't be blogging). We just arrived home from the pediatrician's office. My boy has an ear infection, fever, and horrible hacking cough. Even when his nose is slightly runny he doesn't sleep well thus I too haven't gotten much sleep the past few days.

On the way home from the pharmacy my husband felt the need to inform me that our pediatrician is the exact same age as me. To which I replied, "WOW, she is accomplished!" This 33 year old woman has gone through and graduated med school. She worked at a very reputable university hospital for sometime before moving to this side of the state. She's currently pregnant with her 3rd child. I'm sitting in the back seat of our car next to my sad boy while thinking of all the things this woman has accomplished; what a long road she's traveled in 33 years! I'd honestly be proud of myself if I could figure out how to shower everyday. How did she do it all?

To be fair I don't want to be a doctor. I don't want to work at a hospital. I don't want to take care of sick children every single day. My heart is beating extra fast just sitting here next to my congested son, wondering if his fever has gone back up and if I should check it again. I am not a doctor but I am the CEO of me. That's right folks I am very important. In fact I get to make all the decisions about my very important life. If I want to be a stay at home mom then I need to buckle down and take the classes and do the "homework" that will get me to that career (metaphorically speaking with a bit of a pun just in case I confused anyone). If I want to run a ship shape organized cozy little home then I can. It just takes work and learning. If I want to travel I need to get some miles under my feet; I need to get up and go... in more ways than one.

I admire my son's 33 year old pediatrician: a wife, mom, successful career woman. But I don't want to be her. I want to be me. I really honestly do want to be the best me I can be (oh, that sounds cheesy). BUT doing so should take just as much work as graduating med school, honestly, life is not supposed to be easy. I'm not sure why sometimes I feel the victim, like "my life didn't end up as I'd planned. boohoo hoo." Of couse it didn't. I am ONLY 33. There's LOTS of road to travel. I can sit here and be done or I can work hard, walk far, and travel!

I need to take care of me! (Right Ieva) Often, I need these little pep talks. The end (for now).

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.
Nelson Mandela

Thank-you for living your life to the fullest Mr. Mandela. You've drastically impacted our world.